Friday, August 26, 2016

What's Next and Why?

Sometime ago at one of the transgender veteran support groups I go to, I found it interesting in the amount of push back I received when I mentioned my desire for a breast job. Specifically from one member who is 68 and going under the knife for a full blown sexual genitalia reassignment surgery. She could barely pee straight telling us all about it (and may not be able to afterwards.)

Good for her. I am glad she could achieve her life's goals and tell her detractors that once and for all she was a woman, including between the legs. I have said it many times though, there is so much more into "becoming a woman" than surgery. Somehow I don't think all the knives in the world can add or subtract the little extra which comes with being a "woman." It is my belief no matter your birth gender, you start the SRS process between and ears and finish between the legs.

Maybe I am wrong and when I see her next, she will be smiling ear to ear, still has a place to live, etc. (Yes, it still happens.)

In the mean time, I'm told by my partner Liz I can research having my breasts done if I prove I can go through the pain of a tattoo. The problem is what kind of a tattoo and where on my body. I keep telling her if I had the boob job first, then I would have extra space for the tattoo but so far she doesn't believe me.

So much for credibility, I might as well be a politician!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Unconditional Love?

From the "other" side I can't begin to understand the confusion and even the anguish involved for the wife and girl friend when her spouse/boyfriend comes out as a cross dresser or transgender woman to her.

I know there are the rare publicized relationships in which the wife "stands by her new partner" and I have all the respect in the world for those cis women.

In my case my deceased wife accepted from day one I was a cross dresser but rejected from day one any idea of me wanting to go the transgender route.

I can only imagine what she thought of me tottering around in skin tight skirts and high heels and don't want to.

I know too there would have been no way for our relationship to continue the way it was if she had not passed on, but I am sure we would have parted as friends.

What would have been very interesting would have been her take on the transition path I ended up taking.

She was rather conservative and would have approved for the most part of my jeans/flats style wardrobe but would have recoiled at my choice of hair color (violet.)

I have just met a fledgling trans girl who says she has come out to her wife and "she knows" I just wonder how much and if her and her family are ready for the rocky road ahead?

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Transgender Mini Series

At times as I seriously begin to slave over my second book again, I get a chance to look back over the half century or so of time which took me to this point in my life.

Like the other day when my new endocrinologist asked me to start at the beginning.  Really? The story would be like a mini series on the history channel. We would have episodes along the way of playing football while wanting to be a cheerleader, raiding my Mom's clothes while they would still fit, and how about the doll I wanted for Christmas I never got?

The problem I had with her was trying to color in the space of time I spent exploring my possible transition from crossdresser to transgender woman-and yes there was a difference. I was so much more than an ex guy with hormone induced breasts and emotions sitting across from her.

Obviously, I was the first "up close and personal" trans woman she had ever met and was fascinated. I even fascinate myself, sometimes not in good ways which could be a another show.

I often wonder if I ever had the chance to be the "flaming star" of transgender women (like Caitlin Jenner), how would I handle it? To be sure better than her because at the least I have more empathy towards the trans community than she seemed to ever show. The again, she didn't have to "come up through the ranks" similar to someone such as Laverne Cox.Image result for laverne cox


Even though I would like to show empathy though, I know it's tough because of the issues all of us have faced to get us here in the transgender tribe. One episode could be centered in how we as a tribe are still terribly cannibalistic. It's like we carry whats left of our male ego, then mix it in with our newly forming feminine ego.  We have talked about it here. Rather than say hello to another trans sister, we desperately hope her trans dar did not go off and read us.

Another interesting episode would take a look at the progression and in some cases digression our fashion senses take. Take me for example, I don't wear mini skirts or sky high heels but my jeans, flip flops and violet hair serve to announce my arrival and P.O. many other women my age. But you have probably figured by now...I don't care.

I could probably come up with two or three more shows without much trouble, like how does one become socialized as a woman etc... but more on that at a later time! Don't panic, I don't have a ton of producers knocking my door down anyway :)


A Life in Gender Flux