Friday, July 3, 2015

Growing Up "Girlie?"

Somewhere between Ariel's comments about growing up as a "girlie boy" on the FrontLine PBS show and Connie's blog response: " I never was a "girly boy", myself. I was too busy overcompensating in order to hide any indication that I might be that way. If she can be strong through the bullying and teasing, she'll have broken through to a place that my coping mechanisms wouldn't allow for me." - Here we are.

One of my problems is: "It is what it is-isn't." In my "formative years, being a girlie boy was wanting a doll for Christmas instead of the BB Gun I got. Or not wanting to go hunting with my Dad or younger brother- a long way from anyone knowing about the dresses or makeup I was secretly wearing. 

I often wonder why (or if) what impact those years had on the transgender woman I am today? I have pretty much tried and failed miserably at being a "girly" woman and can best be described as a "boho-hippie." 

I guess I wasn't the "girlie girl" then or now and that's OK because women are allowed to come in more shapes, sizes and types. More so than the narrow stereotypes men are restricted to. I think as we transition we struggle with the idea. Plus, let's not forget how our parents factor in of course.  Thank the Goddess times seem to be changing a bit from the Mom's like mine who offered me "electro-shock therapy" to "help" me. She was simply ahead of her time and not religious enough. Today she would have offered some sort of transgender conversion therapy.

I love to use Connie as an example because: Like it or not, I am usually amazed at how our paths were so similar. In this case though I do think she might be more of a "girly" woman than I am. - The best example of all-just find happiness!

Thursday, July 2, 2015

I Shaved my Legs for This?

Today was "supposed" to have been Catscan day at the VA. I say supposed to because I got about half way there and my car broke down. (Of course it did!)

I will be the first to say I have been fortunate in my health history over my 66 years and had never been through a "cat" before. So, I had no idea on how to "prep" for it. The only guidance I could get from my generic friends and memories from my wives was: shave your legs. So I did. 

I did think I had a good "middle of the road" outfit picked out for my medical "adventure."  I wore one of my long boho skirts with a tank top and flip flops and out the door I went. (Sigh!!!)

Now, several of my most insecure moments ever as a transgender woman or cross dresser have come during the "quality" time I spend with the tow truck drivers. This morning was a little more exciting as I had one of the "helper" safety trucks pull up to see if I needed assistance. I said no thanks, I am a AAA club member and they are on the way. I have to give them an A+ rating this morning. From the girl on the phone who got my name right and didn't question my voice to the driver who said I would be more comfortable waiting in his truck-they all did a great job. (That has not always been the case!)

Approximately a half hour later, I was back at sinister-in-laws waiting to take her to her doctor appointment. While she was in there, I took the time to go get me a cup of coffee. Before certain of you regular Cyrsti's Condo "coffee snobs" jump all over me-yes it was a convenience store. (Unless you are buying-get over it :)  ) At any rate, the store/fuel station was full of tree workers who had left their confederate flags at home. Great!!! - talk about over dressed.

As it turned out, no one gave me a second look and I went back to the Doctor's office parking lot to sip my "Joe" in piece and sulk about the morning's activities.

Of course, the irony of the morning was not long along I passed along some of my wonderful/inexpensive advice about truly testing the world as a woman. While this morning certainly wasn't the first time I had ventured into testosterone loaded environments, I wasn't expecting them-all at the same time-this morning.

I guess on the bright side, even though my long boho skirt had my legs covered for the most part-I knew I done the right thing by shaving them. 

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Growing Up Trans on PBS

I missed the first episode of "Growing Up Trans" yesterday on PBS. But I am sure I will have the chance to see it later. 

It's an all too familiar story: "

 It was kind of like a double life,” young transgender girl Ariel  told  FRONTLINE in Growing Up Trans, a new documentary which premiered Tuesday, June 30, at 10 p.m. EST on PBS 

She went on to say:  “I think a lot of people are completely just comfortable and fluid, but for me, I was really scared.”

'Ariel is one of eight kids, ranging in age from nine to 19, who share their stories in Growing Up Trans. With children transitioning at younger and younger ages, and with more medical options available to them and their parents than ever before, the 90-minute documentary explores the complicated struggles and choices facing families as they navigate the changing and complex world of gender and identity.
For Ariel, who began living publicly as a girl at age 11, the process has not always been easy.
“It’s harder, teasing and bullying-wise, when you’re a girlie boy, when you’re in that in-between stage, than when you’ve fully transitioned,” Ariel says.'
For more, follow the link above!

A Life in Gender Flux