Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Beauty and the Generic Spouse Part Two

Several excellent comments on our Cyrsti's Condo post which among other things discussed how your generic spouse reacts to your feminine appearance   I am fairly unflappable, but getting a comment from a "generic" (other than Liz) is rare around here:

Thank you, Cyrsti but, are women really competitive? Yes on one hand, no on the other. Until I found my spouse, I would compete however, at least for me, I did not see him as competition. He is, after all, my husband. The head of my household. I see the flip side, men are the competitive ones. For us, no matter how good (or bad) he looks, I let him know! lol. And she has always been my friend, whether she knew it or not. I always have her back.
The reason I wrote that Maria, as in all in the other gender differences, I see women as competitive as men -although in more complex ways. A man competes in a simple world, of physical or monetary power. The alpha females I worked with for years, brought it all to the table.  They listened better, were better in tune with their environment and could "bring the pain" in so many ways it may take you days weeks or months to discover.  Even today, when I'm walking into situations I'm not familiar with, I look for the women in the room first for potential problems.
FYI- Maria has a blog many of you may be very interested in!  It's called "A Crossdresser's Wife" See! All of you who think I discriminate against cross dressers-here you go!

Full Time Is In the Mind of the Transitioner?

Paula (left) of Paula's Place came up with a wonderful blog post the other day, essentially revolving around going "full time" as a transgender woman.  Here is an excerpt:

"Without any conscious decision being made I have found that over this last week I have in effect gone full time.   Last week I went to both a rehearsal at my Church and a CIWM meeting authentically,   I also came out to my RSCM committee and the All Soul's Orchestra and have received nothing but support.

Then on Sunday evening I was scheduled to be playing with the worship band for our evening service, when it came to it I just couldn't bring myself to "butch up" and so didn't bother getting changed, just refreshed my lippy and went.   While in no way was I particularly flamboyant I would say that I was pretty obviously presenting female.   I don't know what I was expecting or indeed what I feared, but there was no drama, no lightening bolts, and not even any comments.   I suspect that my being trans in now such old news that everyone was just waiting for it happen!"

For some time now, I think my life has paralleled Paula's in that I am not screaming to the world I am transgender, but in the unforgiving winter weather we are experiencing, and with minimum feminine upkeep , the world still knows something is amiss.  I just don't fit in their comfortable binary gender category.  I know though, I am retired and have not faced the terror of coming to work one day as one gender and the next as another. However, as Paula said people around you have to be pretty dense to not notice any transitional changes, going on with you.

One way or another, I love it when someone else writes a blog post for me!!! Thanks Paula! Follow the link above to her blog.

Rest assured, should you decide to make the transitional gender journey, no matter how you do it-the peaks and valleys and twists and turns will keep you guessing!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Beauty and the Generic Spouse

Yesterday, on Femulate, Stana posted  a picture from one of her readers named Allison.  When Allison described the picture she said (in part) - It was taken by the fabulous Amanda Richards at True Colors Makeup Artistry in Pennsylvania and  "The reason I think it's one of the best (of my pix) is my wife went to the photo shoot with me and I could her gasp for air when I came out of the dressing room; I knew I looked great."  I believe we all agree! Which brings me to my point.

What is more threatening to a generic spouse, when her hubby comes out of the dressing room looking like Allison or when hubby begins to begins to really begin to pick up a feminine persona-with out so called cross dressing at all?

I know, it's an impossible question crossing so many gender and relationship boundaries- for sure- an easy answer is impossible too. 

All I can do is pass along my own personal ideas.  No matter how I looked, my wife made no secret she was not fond of my girl self.  Looking back, I don't blame her but again that is another blog post.  What did happen was, on occasion I could play with the "A" listers who were natural cross dressers-like Allison. It took me years to figure out femininity indeed was more than skin deep.

Just guessing but the slower mtf gender transition may have a better chance of surviving in a relationship. After all, women are very curious and competitive critters. 

Monday, January 26, 2015

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

The hardest part about being transgender from

A Life in Gender Flux