Male vs Female Transgendered Aggression
First and foremost the following post is only written from my experiences and a very difficult post to write.
More than difficult-painful. Please remember I'm knocking on the closest piece of wood (my head) that karma doesn't bring any future pain to me.
Also consider I don't present 100% female, working on it but still identifiable as transwoman to many. I'm OK with that.
Finally, none of this is intended as a sympathy ploy, information only. I have considered the sources and I'm past it.
My idea for the post came after conversing with a friend about her no men preferences. I went on to explain why I personally don't believe in that.
As I was going through the reasons, my final one was that four times as many women have been aggressively mean to me as men .I've been lucky. I've out in the public as a woman for at least 10 years. (The last three nearly 100% of my leisure time.) Here's my total Women 4-Men 0.
I have had the cops called on me, been called a exhibitionist and verbally berated. All came from my use of the women's rest room facilities. Of course I look at using the women's room as a necessity number one. Come on, am I going to use the men's room dressed as I am? That's looking for more trouble that I don't want to even imagine. Really. I'm just trying to pee and go my own way.
Of course I have my reasons why genetic women have been so nasty with me. Two out of four were probably 65 or older. They were raised in an era when genders were male or female or hidden. Neither probably had a clue what a transgendered person is. One got her daughter to abuse me for being an exhibitionist? Really? You have to work to be an exhibitionist in a women's room with locked stalls. That experience hurt deeply.
The cop call came from an "unspecified source". I assume from the women who were watching when I went in. The police woman who responded was very professional and nice so the whole experience was just more than embarrassing than anything else. Over and done.
The final one was I truly believe envy driven. That night I just happened to be receiving a ton of positive feedback from women in the pub except her. She just happened to use the women's room as a place to corner me for a little "girl talk" which started with the word "Dude" and went down hill from there.
The reason for the unbalanced score is simple and certainly doesn't excuse men who commit the true violence against transgender people.
In my case I had the nerve to invade the sacred female refuge-the restroom. Enough is enough. Who does he think he is dressed as an attractive female and sitting across from me eating like a normal person???
No matter how advanced (or not) I was in my transition. In their eyes I was nothing more than a man in the women's room. What they don't realize is I and transwomen like me are the future. We aren't going away. The youngest of the four aggressors was at least 35 and they are on the way out. Like it or not the younger generation for the most part could care less. They are being positively influenced by more than a couple positive media images of us for a change.
Believe me all of this is not the main reason I don't exclude men from my social interactions. It doesn't matter much anyway. Most men are so insecure about their sexuality, a transwoman is the last person they want to interact with.
My personal solution to the problem is simple. Women such as that are not stopping me from living my life. Maybe one day I will be completely presentable as a female and it won't matter.
But you know it will always matter to me as long as any of my transgender sisters struggle with acceptance.
In the mean time I just don't want those poor misunderstood men to suffer! Just kidding! I had to add a little humor to such a painful post.
More than difficult-painful. Please remember I'm knocking on the closest piece of wood (my head) that karma doesn't bring any future pain to me.
Also consider I don't present 100% female, working on it but still identifiable as transwoman to many. I'm OK with that.
Finally, none of this is intended as a sympathy ploy, information only. I have considered the sources and I'm past it.
My idea for the post came after conversing with a friend about her no men preferences. I went on to explain why I personally don't believe in that.
As I was going through the reasons, my final one was that four times as many women have been aggressively mean to me as men .I've been lucky. I've out in the public as a woman for at least 10 years. (The last three nearly 100% of my leisure time.) Here's my total Women 4-Men 0.
I have had the cops called on me, been called a exhibitionist and verbally berated. All came from my use of the women's rest room facilities. Of course I look at using the women's room as a necessity number one. Come on, am I going to use the men's room dressed as I am? That's looking for more trouble that I don't want to even imagine. Really. I'm just trying to pee and go my own way.
Of course I have my reasons why genetic women have been so nasty with me. Two out of four were probably 65 or older. They were raised in an era when genders were male or female or hidden. Neither probably had a clue what a transgendered person is. One got her daughter to abuse me for being an exhibitionist? Really? You have to work to be an exhibitionist in a women's room with locked stalls. That experience hurt deeply.
The cop call came from an "unspecified source". I assume from the women who were watching when I went in. The police woman who responded was very professional and nice so the whole experience was just more than embarrassing than anything else. Over and done.
The final one was I truly believe envy driven. That night I just happened to be receiving a ton of positive feedback from women in the pub except her. She just happened to use the women's room as a place to corner me for a little "girl talk" which started with the word "Dude" and went down hill from there.
The reason for the unbalanced score is simple and certainly doesn't excuse men who commit the true violence against transgender people.
In my case I had the nerve to invade the sacred female refuge-the restroom. Enough is enough. Who does he think he is dressed as an attractive female and sitting across from me eating like a normal person???
No matter how advanced (or not) I was in my transition. In their eyes I was nothing more than a man in the women's room. What they don't realize is I and transwomen like me are the future. We aren't going away. The youngest of the four aggressors was at least 35 and they are on the way out. Like it or not the younger generation for the most part could care less. They are being positively influenced by more than a couple positive media images of us for a change.
Believe me all of this is not the main reason I don't exclude men from my social interactions. It doesn't matter much anyway. Most men are so insecure about their sexuality, a transwoman is the last person they want to interact with.
My personal solution to the problem is simple. Women such as that are not stopping me from living my life. Maybe one day I will be completely presentable as a female and it won't matter.
But you know it will always matter to me as long as any of my transgender sisters struggle with acceptance.
In the mean time I just don't want those poor misunderstood men to suffer! Just kidding! I had to add a little humor to such a painful post.
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