Friday, June 14, 2013

The Sandbox or the Sorority?

As I started to think over the Sand Bully post I did yesterday, I decided to expand a bit- or quite a bit!

Over the years I have happened across more than a couple rather misguided souls who still believe women are the kinder and gentler gender. There are definite reasons nature has picked the female to have children and raise families while holding a job or 14 other things. Women simply have to be tough and have better handle on the overall dynamics of the world.  They have to. No real compliment girls, just reality. It's no joke entering the gender world of less pay and respect just to name a few.

Those who think different are usually  new or closeted cross dressers who don't have much experience in the girl's "sandbox". That's all good. No value judgement-just opinion. Plus, if it makes you feel better,  you may find the term "sorority" more to your liking- but the end result is still the same.

In order to play of course, you have to be admitted. For the sake of simplicity (like my mind) I have broken the membership committee into three sets of genetic women.

1.- "The cool girls".  OK, get ready for my big stereotype- cheerleaders.  If you have an "A" game to submit to this group, make sure your makeup is perfect and look for "mean girls" lurking behind big shiny smiles. Before you think I'm being a total bitch, I have seen a form of the "cool girls" in one of my old cross dressing groups years ago.  If your "looks" were to a certain standard-you too could be welcomed into the sorority. Really? Oh well, so much for not being a total bitch.

2.- "The real girls".  This group's admittance policy is fairly easy.  Be a real person, with a sense of humor, a need to learn and no sexual agenda. Well, maybe not so easy but doable. As we all know women possess advanced B.S. detectors. While you may never be totally accepted as a genetic female you very definitely can be accepted as a transgender woman. Your bit of difference can add a little spice to their world because normally your approach to femininity is just off a tad from theirs.  With the right sense of humor, this becomes a very fun part of acceptance. If I had a dollar for every time I was told "welcome to our world" I would be down at the corner plastic surgeon guy getting a boob job to show off in a very low cut top! Plus at the same time, if you just sit back and observe- this group will teach you most everything you need to know on how to socialize yourself as a woman. Not the easiest group to casually find your way into but once you do, a very easy group to stay and grow with! Even as their token trans girl!

Finally, I shouldn't have to mention this but if you are thinking about going into to any of this with a sexual agenda...DON'T.  Nothing says "Wolfe in sheep's clothing" quicker to women and you will be perceived as just a guy in a dress trying to intrude.

3.- "The Do Not Enter Girls". Simple deal with this group. For social, religious or whatever reasons they in no way support your transgender existence. I call them "The who the hell needs them group". They could just be "haters", been kicked out of groups one and two or just can't wrap their minds mentally around a transgender person. One thing is for certain, you don't want to run into this group in a restroom situation.

Well, there you go. I really don't want to get into the finer points of getting ambushed by passive aggressive female behavior or a a few of he nuances of communication in this post.

Just be careful when you jump into the sandbox when the claws come out. Then again survival lessons are valuable when you are dealing with the "kinder and gentler" gender on their turf-or sand.

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A Life in Gender Flux