Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Welcome to my World.

I used to hear it from genetic women a lot. I certainly understand why I did and I think I understand why I'm not so much anymore.

Perhaps you have heard me refer to the transgender learning experience as "playing in the girls sandbox". Until you climb in, you really don't know how the process works. The only certainty is the lessons come at you fast.

Women of course wonder what the hell you are doing in the sandbox at all?  Are you creepy, are you serious and/or are you sane. If you aren't creepy, are serious and reasonably sane (me) then you are allowed into the mix. Of course you will get get sand kicked in your face until you find which group of women you can bond with.

You know how guys bond with sports, business success or cars and women bond with- well - being women. Relationships, kids, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends and men at large form the bond. Early in the process I learned I needed to bring my personal past into play.  When I was asked did I have any kids, I simply said yes but I never needed to say I birthed her. Also, I'm fairly sure all of my close women friends know I'm a widow and I was married to a woman for over 25 years. For the longest time, that was a "need to know" fact which I didn't toss around easily.  The bottom line was though, I became a real person.  So what if I was transgender, I didn't B.S. anyone and to the best of my ability  I was good people. Quickly it seemed I was making the leap from "welcome to my world" to "where have you been?"

For all of you who are still fixated on appearance getting you a spot in the sandbox, I can't say enough if you are blessed with a good head of hair, go with it! Hair is such a huge selling point to presenting as a woman and the girl stuff like clothes, hair and makeup are just fun play toys. Older genetic women just don't understand and I don't want to be a geek and tell them I still am like a teen aged girl in a makeup or clothing store! In fact it's times like that I want to say "Welcome to MY trans World". It's a blessing from somewhere to be transgender and living like I am.  Thanks "Mother Karma" I love my spot in the "box".



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A Life in Gender Flux