Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Does the Dress Really Make the Person?

Received yet another thought provoking comment on the Cyrsti's Condo "Pass the Make Up" post:

"As my guy self everyone I deal with has come to accept me for all components that they see. I am generally friendly, involved, caring and willing to give my honest opinion on any subject. When I do get out and about while dressed I pretty much am the same person. I do not try to fool anyone.

If I am perceived as a large older man in a dress I hope that most people think that I did not do a bad job getting dolled up and that I look decent, friendly, pleasant, involved, friendly and willing to give an honest opinion on any subject. I am the same me. I suppose as I guy I am not distasteful in appearance or presentation. I expect no less of myself when dressed. Pat"

I thought Wow! this was a major discussion point with my wife and I "back in the day".  She was certain I was different as a woman and not necessarily in a flattering way.  Of course, since then a lot of make up has gone under the bridge and I am drastically a different feminine person than I was then. I can tell you now there is only one other person in the world who could speak to how much of me carries into both genders.

Similar to Pat, my inner self has carried through, standards, spirituality etc. On the other hand, the more completely I cross the gender line, it's natural my feminine self does change. You all know how much I push the idea of socialization before surgery here in Cyrsti's Condo. As I pursued in earnest what a life as a woman was really life, I also learned quickly I wasn't out to fool anyone either.  To hell with the old male/female gender binaries.

I'm fairly sure Pat would agree the only big difference we have is experience. But, when it all comes down to it, you can throw out the cross dresser and transgender labels and go with who you are. Good is good...male, female or trans. Gender does not dictate personality. If you were a bastard before SRS, your chances of being a bitch afterwards are good.

So if the dress does make the person, it's because we are all just mirrors anyhow.  It's what behind the mirror that really counts.

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A Life in Gender Flux