Transition 101 basic: "Act like you've been there."
Easier said than done when you are trying to negotiate the world as a transgender woman or man, or a cross dresser exploring life out of the closet.
If someone refuses to admit how terrified they were in the public eye, "me thinks" they may be fibbing.
I was so scared along the way, I thought I was going to have to carry an oxygen tank as a fashion accessory for use if I fainted from fear.
One of the key transition terms I blocked from my thoughts early in the process was the idea, "I was trying to fool anyone. I was dressed as a woman therefore I was. I also was helped when I made the conscious decision to know being accepted as a transgender woman was good enough and maybe as far as I would ever get.
Of course there were more than a few hurdles to navigate. The first was the appearance factor I already mentioned. The second was knowing human beings are predators and would pick up any "blood in the water". I would be noticed more if I gave the impression I was doing anything wrong. Even when I was whispered about and even laughed at, I somehow, someway learned to take a deep breath and move on.
It just takes awhile for those of us who have lived in our birth genders for any length of time to accomplish one of the most difficult of all human tasks - transitioning into our chosen gender. One of the most amusing comments I read is "I won't go out in public as a woman until I am very attractive." I quickly think they never will get out of the closet.
Most of you Cyrsti's Condo regular visitors know the rest of the story. I "acted" like I had been in society as a trans woman until I owned doing it. To this day though, I still have the old fears of ghosts from cross dressing past coming back to haunt me. They are a tough crowd!
Finally, unless you are one of the many people who are much smarter than me, the only way I know to transition your gender in the world is to do it. When you do, you won't have to act like you've been there. You have!
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