Saturday, November 9, 2013

Dating Yourself? A Cyrsti's Condo Archive Post

I posted this in January 2013:

"Maybe I should say-would you date your old male self? I saw this question on a YouTube video and was fascinated. I have asked here in Cyrsti's Condo would you be the kind of daughter Mom would like or even would you be the kind of girl she would like to see her son bring home? Back to the question, would I date me? For no particular egotistical reason I would say yes.

As with so many other young men in my circles, sports and cars dominated my existence so as a young woman I would have had to expect it and adjust. I worked and had an income so as a young woman I could go with me and have interesting dates. (Or at least get out of the house!) I suppose I was reasonable looking and smart enough to be headed to college so there were worse guys to be seen with. Drawbacks? As any male, past and present-old and young-I had an ego.

Picture from two summers ago with wig.
In fact as a transgender woman I deal with it now with any men I meet. To think genetic women don't learn to deal with the game all their lives is crazy. Some just do it better than others and one way or another I would have had been socialized to the experience. I was never a dating "superstar" and I certainly didn't fall into the "bad boy" category which genetic women supposedly are drawn to. Ironically the reason I wouldn't date me is because of my gender alignments. The ripping and tearing of my male and female sides made life miserable for me and all around me at times. As I got older, I also turned to self medication in the form of alcohol for the most part and considered myself rather "non civilized" following seven consecutive years in college and the Army.

Perhaps the women who did date and marry me felt the basic female need to nurture and change me? The only thing I do know is my wife of 25 years said several times she saw the basic good in me under the turmoil thank God!

 At any rate, it's a fun and interesting question for all of us to ponder-trans women or trans men. The next time you pull out the mirror to admire or dislike your image, try looking past the mirror and take a better look at yourself. The process may just make you a better woman or man."

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A Life in Gender Flux