Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall..

Mirrors on the wall, on the shelf, in the car, in the store...they are everywhere and through the years we transgender women and cross dressers develop quite the relationship with them.

We have to to a certain degree although many outsiders would call our mirror worship a very narcissistic pursuit. As we transition from experimenting in Mom's or Sister's clothes, we depend upon a mirror to reassure us of how we are doing...to an extent. The problem is that mirrors are wonderful fibbers.  I'm sure you see your share of genetic women too who get lied to by their mirrors and you wonder, "What the hell was she thinking?" I can not tell you the number of times over the years I thought I was this vision of beauty only to find out quickly I was a vision alright, just not one which even closely resembled a woman.

After the years of more error than trial, I finally decided on two basics my mirror and I could work with.

The first one was I never looked as good - or as bad as I thought. Actually it's a life basic I live with too. I have days when I think I have written my best blog posts ever, only to find I wasn't going to give any of the great authors of the day a run for their money. Of course the opposite has been true too.

The second basic is actually a mirror theory I have about transitioning from a cross dresser to more of a transgender person. I think as soon as you can relax to a point of not needing reassurance of being feminine from a mirror then your mirror becomes the world. You are reflecting your gender of choice to the public and their reaction becomes all that matters.  The benefit is, for the most part you are receiving quality unfiltered feedback.

Look (no pun intended) I know the ability to get out in the world for many of you is just a dream...right now. But these days the mirror is getting a run for it's money and helping many of you out. Videos on YouTube and the multitude of photo sites are two examples.

In many cases, it seems practice is working for some of these ladies. I don't know if you remember the video I put up on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen some time ago where the cross dresser went from female to male, except for his "padding" under his male clothes.  At that point she apologized for looking terrible and not passing looking like that. I thought though she looked better than 90% of the women who work at places like Walmart where I live.

While it's true we have to work hard at being better than our genetic sisters in order to survive in the world, we all have to realize we share the same insecurities.  How many genetic women have you ever known who have not been insecure about one or more parts of their bodies? Plus, on any given day, I see any number of genetic women trying to pass as women. The difference is they know what they are and of course carry that assurance with them and it is so important we do too. But...  No amount of mirrors can do that for us - transgender women or cross dressers.

Rest assured, your mirror does not want to lose your friendship and indeed many times a mirror is a girl's best friend.  Just make sure your true BFF is the public and you will do fine!



No comments:

Post a Comment

A Life in Gender Flux