Sunday, November 10, 2013

Under Construction

Way back when here in Cyrsti's Condo, I re-posted an subject called "Making a Woman" and Alexis Michelle added her take on the subject. Of course with my more than cynical thoughts on the matter, I didn't think I was qualified to make a woman.

Ironically, I guess I am one of those guys who did make a good woman- or I'm trying very hard to do just that.

I call the process gender "socialization", while Alexis called it "grasping the woman part" but we were on the same page. Plus, let me be clear here, I'm not talking exclusively about the feminine appearance standard we all get caught up in. In my own case, I'm far from a "natural" as a woman and will always have to use every physical trick I can learn to present in the world as a woman. To compensate though, I learned  a couple positive powerful tools such as confidence and attitude with wonderful potential.  Now I have the freedom of walking into situations in the world as a transgender woman knowing what to expect and how to deal with the most important part of the population...other women. Not an easy process for anyone, especially me, but this is how I started.

As soon as I progressed to a point where I felt I could basically blend in with the world as a woman, I got serious about the "socialization" process. Without going too far in depth, the process became very complex for me...quickly. Social feminine interaction was similar to peeling back a onion. Once I peeled back one layer, another was exposed and yes the process brought me to tears a number of times. As I did, I found the main problem people had with me was they didn't know anything about a transgender person such as me. Once I became a real person to them, most of them were accepting.  Far more than I ever thought!

As Alexis said "Being accepted as a woman by other women is the greatest reward of all." and she is right. Genetic girls have been raised with highly effective B.S. detectors (sometimes known as feminine intuition), so acceptance is not taken lightly.

As I have said many times, I never thought I could ever get to this point in my life as a transgender woman. I can only say the process has been a wonderful trip recently after years of gender hell. I do get a giggle when someone seems to think my transition journey has been an overnight "walk in the park" success story.

The opposite is true of course.  I guess when I make something the right way, it takes a lot of time!



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A Life in Gender Flux