Friday, March 21, 2014

The "Enigma" Gender

One definition for enigma is: a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand.

It's no secret the binary male and female genders don't understand much about each other, so it's no wonder neither know much about we "invisible T's".  Here in Cyrsti's Condo in the past, I have taken the title from the classic guide Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex and added transgender people must be from Earth, right between the other two. If we liked it or not, we spent some time on both planets and many of us still commute back and forth.

We are enigma's with all the stigma which can be attached-good or bad.  This week for example, I ran into many new people.  Not just walking by them on the street, but interacting with them too in meetings and social events. Truthfully, I was willingly knocked out of my comfort zone all week long. I know what you are thinking "Whoa Cyrsti, thought you were living all this time as a girl.  I can explain it this way: Every so often someone will ask me if I'm living "full time" or "24/7" as a woman.  The question is always difficult for me to answer because I can only vouch for living 24/7 between my ears.  The remainder of the time I'm awake, my gender is how the world perceives it-not how I do. I already know. For all I know, on my androgynous days some may think I'm from the moon!

So, at this point I am an enigma to the folks from Venus and Mars.  For the most part, I can guarantee you most don't understand me but as long as they don't willfully hurt me, that's fine.  I can't understand ever perceiving myself as my birth gender completely so I don't understand them.

As I transition, I am learning the fun part is to stay an enigma to the other planets.  For the most part the Martians keep me at arms length and the Venusian's are as curious as cats. My latest responses (truthfully a very small minority of the world who has much more to worry about than me) are centered in the eyes.  I had two or three women this week who seemingly couldn't get out of mine. If you are a believer in the eyes are the windows to the soul, they were trying to look at mine!

If I was a better writer and more disciplined a "Classic Guide to Understanding Earthlings" would be a fabulous follow up to understanding both other planets-or-we could do the "Why's and How's of Being a Gender Enigma" too. In the meantime, it's interesting to step back and look at the wonder of it all. 

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A Life in Gender Flux