I have mentioned here in Cyrsti's Condo of the internal changes which come with HRT. Last night, or should I say early this morning, I felt the changes in a big way.
I don't know if because I had a long day yesterday and did quite a bit of physical labor, I was extra tired when I went to bed. I went to bed early, around 11 pm and was up around 3 just depressed as hell. First of all, depressed may be the wrong word. I believe the sadness caused with HRT is more of a melancholy feeling. When I experience it, I have a hard time putting my finger on exactly where it is coming from. I just know it's so real. I am learning though, crying it out helps. The problem is, crying is still a conditioned problem with me. Finally last night, I just let the tears go and along with a glass of milk, I felt better soon enough to go back to bed.
Luckily, I'm retired and work my own schedule, so I slept in a bit. When I woke up though I started to wonder what could lift my spirits and came up with a little shopping.
I figured if I was going to have to put up with the negative emotions of this MtF transition, I might as well have some of the fun. Is there a shopping hormone as well?