Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Owning It!

Our "Own it Girl" post here in Cyrsti's Condo, continues to generate incredible feedback from some of you regulars-including some who are considering testing the mainstream waters out of the closet.I am going to try to do my best to wrap your idea's and comments around mine.

The positive part of the internet is the realization many of us are in the same gender transition boat-no matter where we live.  Take Jen's comment for an example and compare it with where I am in Ohio or Shelle is in rural Indiana.  I'm relatively sure both Shelle and I would trade you places to begin stepping out of the closet, but then again, our problems doing it weren't all that different.

Jen wrote:

""I work on Hollywood Blvd, very near the Chinese Theater. 

At least several times a week, as I'm either driving to and from work, or out walking to lunch, I notice transgender / cross dressing people. I know there is at least one trans person working here too and she is totally accepted! 

Some are like the person I mentioned, where they are just being themselves, not concerned about being out in public or passing so well (yes they own it!) Of course some you wouldn't pick out at all unless you're looking closely.

I always get a thrill if I notice someone (hope!). Yes guilty - I'm often looking to see if I can notice anyone, because I'm always trying to find "looks" that might work for me when I'm en-femme. I try not to make it obvious :-)"

You addressed a couple very interesting points Jen!  It's interesting to me how all of us "look" for other "sisters of the cloth." Just yesterday, I posted a comment from Pat on how her and her wife have an easy time picking out obvious cross dressers / trans women (with style issues) from the crowd. I am going to write a whole new post on the subject which should post tomorrow. (Pat's Wife and I)

Jen, rest assured,  when you can get to the point where you are at the least comfortable with who you are, you will "pass" better than you ever imagined.  Look, I know it's tough and I'm not just blowing smoke up your skirt (if you are wearing one), just take baby steps! One suggestion though. Chances are, those trans girls or cross dressers who are navigating a feminine society took their clues from the genetic women of the world!  We all know a genetic woman's life is so multi layered she learns early how to present for each situation- so she can "pass" too.  Examples could be shopping, picking up the kids, or going out on Saturday night. Whatever the scenario, she has to own it too.  When she is "feeling it" the world does too!  As we transition, our problem is "syncing up" how we think we ought to feel with reality.  

My HUGE mistake was Jen, I was viewing myself as a woman based on how a man would-not another woman.

Finally, I would dearly love to visit you out there in Hollywood.  Been around the L.A. area in route to Northern California but that's it.

Maybe we could schedule a Stilettos on Thin Ice book signing there and then go north to Seattle and visit Connie?  That's a bunch o books!!!!



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A Life in Gender Flux