Wednesday, June 4, 2014

"T" Dar?

Pat was kind enough to send in this comment:


I maintain that it is important that as many of us get out and be seen and mingle with the civilian population as possible. At my height and weight and with my decidedly male features I do not fool myself into thinking that I pass. When I do go out I do my best to look my best but I am pretty much the same person regardless of how I am dressed. Every time I encounter someone with an open mind they may learn a little bit about me as a T person, trans folk, CD, guy in a dress, TG, etc. Whether I am dressed as a man or woman I like to think that people do not find me boring. I will engage on any subject and I do make a conscious effort to keep my filter on low.

For now my wife does not like the concept of my being out in a dress and she lives in fear that others will discover my dressing BUT being married to me her T-Dar is higher than other people's and she often will spot other Trans folks. There is one in the next town known as the town tranny. He shows up at parades and festivals. My wife has often discussed this person with her hair dresser who is married to a local cop in that town. This trans person is well like and fully tolerated and sometimes serves as a volunteer assistant for the local PD. My wife and I have both encountered this Trans person and we both think that I present as a more believable and better looking woman. The difference is that this person is out and about all the time and I am not. If I do get to talk with her some day I do need to tell her to try to tone down her safety vest orange or super hot pink nail polish on her fingers and toes. 

There is another T-person who I have never seen but who my wife seems to encounter once or twice a year in the supermarket. She tells me that he is taller than I am in his flats and that his makeup and hair are poorly done but he simply presents as a large guy in a skirt and blouse just going about the mundane task of food shopping.

We are moving forward and need to recognize the baby steps that we take every day as helping pave the way.
Pat


Thanks for the comment Pat!  I believe I may of heard about the person you are referring to and I have a tendency to believe you may have more trans tendencies than the town (Gender Slur). The reason being, you have more insight into the process other than presenting as a caricature of a woman (drag queen).  We all know drag queens are like the old comics in drag and the public knows of their true gender so all is well. Ha ha! Joe thinks it's Halloween year around!

Maybe the person in the market simply "takes for granted" he is what he is in a dress and that's fine but we all know what a little tender loving care can do for one's appearance.  A whole other topic.

Your wife is so much like mine was "back in the day" and we did have a good time with our "T-Dar". Today though, T-Dar could mean transvestite or transgender-a huge difference.  My wife could and did accept it in others but drew the line with me.

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A Life in Gender Flux