Many of the "sister's" I have known in the past, who proudly and loudly proclaimed themselves "hetero sexual cross dressers" struggled to keep more than just their dresses hidden deep in their closets. Sexuality was taking up space too.
Should the men who pursue a cross dresser or a transgender woman share all the blame when they scream, "Hey! I'm straight?" No, I know one person who used to feel any attention from a man validated her as a woman-me. I was one too, who tossed myself in the "high and mighty" hetero CD category too, when all along this little voice was saying, "well what if?"
What if I had decided to stay behind all the "A-list" cross dressing bitches I was hanging out with in Cleveland all those years ago with the guy who asked me to? After all, he was good looking, well spoken and sort of shy? All of that occurred back in the pre social media/internet days, when I think we were all more naive. Or, more recently when I began to transition in earnest, I had the same interest in me from men than I did from women? Don't know and more importantly, I don't make many value judgments about it. Isn't there some sort of line about not beating dead horses? Then again, it's never that simple- as Pat commented: (these days)
I suspect that because there are so many different varieties of T folks that non T people have a hard time figuring us out. For most people there is little to no separation between sexuality and gender. If you are a woman attracted to me or a man attracted to women the question of sexuality and gender not being the same thing may never arise. For us in the T community we face the dichotomy between gender and sexuality on a regular basis. At times, especially for the younger T folks it can get confusing..
My only disagreement is I think more and more young transgender women and men are not confused so much and that thought extends into younger cross dressers too who describe themselves as "gender non conforming." I can only dream of how it would have been to have that sort of freedom of gender expression when I grew up!!!