One Foot in the Bucket?
At my age, I can't say I don't pay attention to "bucket-lists" especially now a days when it seems they are popping up again. I read with interest on Stana's Femulate blog in particular (of course) when she came up with a bucket list of sorts for "femulators" to accomplish.
Not that it makes me any better than any other cross dresser or transgender person, but many of the items on the list I could check off. I began to wonder at what point did I subconsciously realize checking items off the list led me to where I am now? Or was I doing what came naturally?
I guess my friends thought so- much of the credit for checking off most of the major items, go to my friends. Early examples were the invites to professional sports games and to real live girl's night outs. Of course I was scared to death and none of it came easily. And then, there were the early vacations with Liz, including a week long trip to New Orleans and Mardi Gras. Really? No pressure packing for that with no guy clothes-right?
You see, my friends and lover just crushed my bucket list. They saw past all my petty paranoia's for who I was. I'm still amazed they see nothing special about what they did. I'm just one of their girlfriends. Wow.
Yes, I did see and few items on the list I had not accomplished and that's cool too. One of which was getting a mani-pedi. Can't say I haven't had the chance and I really want to but I also want to keep a couple of new and mysterious/fun girl things to do.
So, I really never had the chance to check off all those items on my list if I ever had one. I suppose I would change the title of "bucket list" to "dream list" because I still can't believe this all is happening to me!
Plus, I have never been one who didn't think I wasn't living on borrowed time and I better get to whatever I wanted to do before the curtains closed. I suppose I'm lucky that my biggest regret out side of transitioning earlier, was not taking that trip to Kathmandu we had planned when we were in the Army.
I still don't have both feet in the bucket! There is still time!
Not that it makes me any better than any other cross dresser or transgender person, but many of the items on the list I could check off. I began to wonder at what point did I subconsciously realize checking items off the list led me to where I am now? Or was I doing what came naturally?
I guess my friends thought so- much of the credit for checking off most of the major items, go to my friends. Early examples were the invites to professional sports games and to real live girl's night outs. Of course I was scared to death and none of it came easily. And then, there were the early vacations with Liz, including a week long trip to New Orleans and Mardi Gras. Really? No pressure packing for that with no guy clothes-right?
You see, my friends and lover just crushed my bucket list. They saw past all my petty paranoia's for who I was. I'm still amazed they see nothing special about what they did. I'm just one of their girlfriends. Wow.
Yes, I did see and few items on the list I had not accomplished and that's cool too. One of which was getting a mani-pedi. Can't say I haven't had the chance and I really want to but I also want to keep a couple of new and mysterious/fun girl things to do.
So, I really never had the chance to check off all those items on my list if I ever had one. I suppose I would change the title of "bucket list" to "dream list" because I still can't believe this all is happening to me!
Plus, I have never been one who didn't think I wasn't living on borrowed time and I better get to whatever I wanted to do before the curtains closed. I suppose I'm lucky that my biggest regret out side of transitioning earlier, was not taking that trip to Kathmandu we had planned when we were in the Army.
I still don't have both feet in the bucket! There is still time!
Comments