Monday, December 29, 2014

Playing in the Trenches

Accidentally, as I was writing another Cyrsti's Condo post the other day, I used MtF transgender woman Kimberly Reed as a stereotypical example of a point I was trying to make on the physical part of transitioning.  During her sports career in football, Kimberly was the young blond slim quarterback, during mine I played in the trenches as a defensive end.  NO, I did not play on Kimberly's team, against her and we are different ages from different places.  She is an example kids!!!

Sure, a physical transition is never easy and if you are blessed to have the support and resources to do it-the earlier the better.  I can tell you from personal experience, taking a 60 + year old male body and changing gender gears is no picnic. As you all know though, I have been at it for a long time now and found myself "back in the trenches" on several fronts.

The first "battle" ironically came quickly from within what I considered "my own community." I was naive though and thought any of the successful strides I made discovering my inner femininity could/should be shared with others.  I found instead until I spent thousands on surgery and endured years of pain, I wasn't worthy.  Although on occasion I did get my feelings hurt, I considered the source, began to call them "Trans-Nazi's" and moved on-into the real world.

Like so many others, I was spending most all of my early public time in gay venues.  I didn't take long to find myself in a different set of trenches.  Back in those days, gay and lesbian venues had even less knowledge of what a transgender woman or trans man was all about.  Worse than that, they didn't care to. After a night of getting ignored in a gay bar trying to get served, I said to hell with them and began to go to straight venues. It worked and I moved on.

On occasion I landed back in my own transgender community.  This time, I was called a transgender "pretender" by the purists of the trans world-after all, why had I waited so long to transition?  You know, it's a good question, but essentially none of their business. But, how much fun would that be, and all you regulars know I have answered the "whys and hows" of my life and even wrote a book "Stilettos on Thin Ice"  to explain it.

So, if you are considering making the transgender gender jump, chances are you are not living in a feminine ready body right now.  If you are ready to get in the trenches and do it,  be ready, the process will be incredibly tough.  The rewards though, can be just as incredibly wonderful.

I love those who tell me I could  never transition-I look like a linebacker. I just say, remember me? I was the defensive end - just down the line from you. .

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A Life in Gender Flux