Friday, December 12, 2014

Pushing the Envelope at Home?

One common theme most of us face or have faced is how we approach our lives as cross dressers or transgender girls with wives who understandingly have a huge stake in our actions.  Here is a portion of a comment from Pat about her life:

While over time my wife has acclimated a bit to me being dressed she still does not want anyone to learn that I am a CD. When we lived in the house we were somewhat isolated. We were down a long driveway on a small road with only a handful of other houses. When I would dress my wife was always running around closing the curtains even though there was no real way passers by if any, would be able to see in.

She went on to say though, they have since moved to a more populated condo.

Stilettos on Thin Ice!Surely, spouses have a huge stake in us...if they don't, it's time to put a lawyer's phone number on your phone's speed dial.  Relationship-kaput- done-finis. I wrote nearly a whole chapter on this subject in my "Stiletto's on Thin Ice"  book.  Plus, you Cyrsti's Condo regulars probably get tired of me writing about how my wife accepted my cross dressing before we married.  On the other hand, she never made a secret of how as soon as I began the path to HRT, we would part ways as friends.  She passed away before I started. 

Recently on another site where I was commenting on gender differences, a generic went out of her way to agree with my comments but prefaced it all with she was a Christian and didn't agree with my lifestyle. Believe it or not, I never waded back in.  My point is, if a spouse truly believes her faith precludes loving and accepting all, she will never accept a cross dressing spouse - let alone a transgender one.  

I also know though, what an incredibly selfish gender journey we embark on.  Many times, not understanding all of it ourselves, let alone expect a loved one to embrace it.  Plus, for most of us, the more we experience the girl's sandbox-the more we want.

Personally, I have a whole box of envelopes I have pushed over many edges during my life but my transgender experience was far and away the most powerful.  My wife and I made it 25 years, and if I was her, I would kicked me out after year one.  Which makes her a better person than I.  On the other hand, she made me the woman I am today and Liz brought her out.

This post could go on forever and is as complex as any I could write.  Maybe we could just make it into some sort of Condo game show? Pick this envelope and see what's in it?

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A Life in Gender Flux