Friday, February 6, 2015

Back "In" the Closet at the Nursing Home?

Cyrsti, the death certificate thing is a real concern of mine. Actually, my main concern is for the way I may have to live out my end days. I don't recall having read much on this subject, but I can't be the only boomer transgender woman who is thinking of this. Having seen the way some of my older relatives have been treated in nursing homes, many of the infirmed are not even respected for their species, let alone their gender. As long as I have control over my life, I will live as a woman. I pray that I will be able to die with dignity and respect the same way, but I can't count on it. Perhaps you could do a blog entry on this subject. How do you think the VA is handling this? Maybe transition ends when we do, but death (or near death) shouldn't change who we've sacrificed so much for to be. Yet, I fear that it may do just that. It's not enough that we know who we are; we need validation from others to make our lives have any real meaning - in death, as in life.
Connie, I understand your death certificate concern but I am with with you in how I may be put in some sort of back room closet in a crummy nursing home somewhere. My confidence lies in my daughter is an absolute force-BUT-I shudder to think of being in an androgynous body with gender markers changed, in a nursing home. It's a very real paranoia to me.
On rare occasions I have seen posts on this topic and even joined an on line group, no pun intended, maybe it just died out? I do believe as more and more of the Boomers hit our age, more publicity will come out.  Good and bad.
As far as the VA goes, they still (I think) just dole out some money for your closet and that's pretty much it.  The big hurdle with them is still getting gender markers changed on discharge (retirement) paperwork.  The key is the VA is beginning to do it, but it's not policy.
So, no Connie, I just haven't seen much on the subject but I do watch -plus if it is any indication, my Frock Magazine articles on being a transgender senior are well read.(other than well written) Most certainly if and when I see more I will "pass" it along. Probably a dirty word in Seattle!

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A Life in Gender Flux