Thursday, March 12, 2015

Are You Listening??

I just know you have heard generics plead with the world to just listen to them.  I decided to list listening to me as the second biggest surprise of my Mtf transition.  Having said that, I knew women as a whole speak a different gender language and are more apt to be socialized to not be vocally aggressive -but really?  I also remember some of my earliest recollections interacting in the world when I was literally talked around and "over" by men. At the time, I assumed the more comfortable I would become, I could at least hold my own. 
 
These days though, I feel as if I am losing ground in the world, but I don't know if it is all bad.  One problem I know I have is with projecting a feminine voice. When I keep it low and soft, I have less vocal problems-I think. Plus,if you toss men out of the conversation, generics do have a tendency in my world to over talk each other. For the longest time, I did try to jump in, but now I just wait for the conversation to come to me.

I suppose it sounds like a clique, but my HRT years have taken the edge off my macho feelings and laying back I suppose makes me more "mysterious" - rather than a cynical pain in the rear.

Looking back though at the fateful day I started to transition, my expectations of how I would be able to communicate with the world, never felt like this! 

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A Life in Gender Flux