Tuesday, April 14, 2015

More Background

I know I was a little vague on the background history from one of my recent posts which went into the questions I got from a long time acquaintance.

I'm going to pull excerpts on both comments then back track into info. The first comment comes from Connie:
 "Cyrsti, it seems as though this friend of yours has either been frustrated for a long time or is challenging you to give an explanation as to why cross dressers are different from trans people - or both (most likely). Perhaps this person has even undergone conversion therapy, but the last three questions certainly do have cynical undertones that could be based on shame and guilt." - and- 
"I would give answers to these six questions that would be similar to yours, but I'm much more intrigued by the motivation of your old friend in asking them. The bigger question, I think, can be drawn from between the lines - not necessarily from the lines being drawn."

Connie, frustration may be too simple a term. He carries with him to this day a deep resentment towards a transsexual woman we both knew during her transition (all the way to SRS) "Me thinks" one or both of them went to far and he still carries frustration. 

And there is the "tale of two therapies." About the same time, both of us went to probably the only gender therapist in Ohio at the time (1980's). For some reason, he came away thinking therapists were enablers basically only in it for the dollar. Ironically, my wife and I went and I came away with the advice my gender dysphoria was not going away and both of us would have to live with it if our relationship would survive. 

Our lives actually went separate ways for years before he made contact on Yahoo. During that time, he actually made contact with a cis man somewhere on line and corresponded with him as a generic for a year or so. At the least I tell him he does a great job of living by the "Hypocrite Code".  Finally, he got out of a long term relationship with a wife who recoiled about any idea of cross dressing and married another woman in about a month. Did he tell the "new wife"? Of course not. 

Another comment next.

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A Life in Gender Flux