Monday, June 22, 2015

The Greatest Conflict of All?

Connie recently commented:

"The vast majority of people grow up and live their whole lives without thinking about their genders. They become aware of gender at an early age, and that, most certainly, affects their general thinking. We, on the other hand, struggled with the dysphoria as we became aware of our gender flux"

I attempted to explain exactly that to my Grand Kids and sometimes even others. Again this weekend, I became extremely aware at how others can't even conceive what we go through. Fortunately any more  I don't need to carry around a chip on my shoulder or bitterness by this time in my life-it is what it is being transgender.

Back to this weekend, Liz and I went to a Lavender Festival plus a Summer Solstice Ritual Saturday and Sunday. A few of the group (we are members of)  braved the monsoon downpours Saturday and met again Sunday. In the group are four or five tweener girls who have become increasingly fascinated with me.

They are losing their shyness and are asking my name-slowly but surely they are warming up, which I love. After all, it wasn't so long ago girls their age were my worst fear when I first opened the door and began to cross dress in public. 

Connie went on to write:  "As I was standing in the grocery line yesterday, I surveyed the covers of the magazines on the rack. People Magazine had a full-face picture of a young Bruce Jenner, along with a smaller insert from Caitlyn's Vanity Fair shoot. The headline read something like: "Good-bye Bruce; Hello Caitlyn". That got me to thinking (like I said, you can't ever get over it completely) about how others misunderstand us. It's not as simple as "good-bye/hello". Just because we may have lived our lives in a flux about gender, we don't discount our pasts through MTF transition. Of course, I used to fantasize about a "magic wand" myself, so I don't blame others for thinking that, just because I've come out, I am a totally different person. "

Of course in some ways those girls do equate me with Caitlyn Jenner and what Connie wrote. While I am sure I will never have the opportunity to sit down with any or all and chat further about a new world of gender awareness they will be a key part of. One never knows! And of course, when their kids meet transgender classmates or friends, we won't be quite as confusing.

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