Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Gender-izing a Belt?

This is sort of a cute story that happened Saturday. Here in Cyrsti's Condo numerous times I have mentioned my partner Liz's 89 year old Dad. It's safe to say during his life, he has never been known as a card carrying liberal-as referenced by the bear he hunted years ago and the ultra light plane he was building (until his health gave out) in the garage.

Over my five years or so with Liz, I have been involved in all the small family events and helping to take him around to his medical appointments - including an amazing set of cataract operations. When he started the four operations on both eyes, essentially he was legally blind, now he is increasingly close to 20/20.

Along the way, I have told Liz when he begins to see me-there will be questions. After all, when you get to be 90-you can ask anything you want.

Saturday when we were in the optometrist store getting him fitted for glasses, I was making sure he got out of his walker and into a chair. Suddenly he looked straight ahead at my belt and said "Is that a girl belt, or a boy belt and then paused and said one of those gay boy belts?" I softly leaned in and said "it's a girl belt, Jim."

Now, as we all know this transgender life presents interesting twists. In my case, Liz has never really talked to Dad about my true genderality. On some occasions he will call me Chris and others Cyrsti and add in a "hon" or even a doll.

Being the loving and giving person I am, I told Liz he is your Dad and the time is coming for a transgender sit down. Daughter dearest-are you a lesbian or what?  Because now he can see me and hear me as long as he can find his hearing aids!

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A Life in Gender Flux