One of the very negative things which happen with a daily blog such as Cyrsti's Condo is when yet another of those of you I consider family fall ill. First there was Francine and now Connie. She messaged me last night when she had to go to the hospital for a swollen leg and intense pain:
" I dealt with no fewer than four doctors, 8-10 nurses & techs, and a half-dozen front desk people. The few awkward moments relating to my gender may have bugged me a bit, but the fact that I have a big f*****g blood clot, some of which may have entered my lungs, is so much more disturbing to me. It seems my reluctance to go with HRT was the correct route for me, since this very condition is one of the big possible side effects. Now that it's part of my medical history, I doubt any doctor would prescribe estrogen for me. I'll have to live without it, but at least I will live. I'm saddened by the fact that the option of HRT is gone for me - maybe better to know outright than being on the fence, though."
First of all get well Connie!!! Second of all, HRT should not be put ahead of life itself. In fact, I believe hormones should not be the be all and end all to a transition. (Similar to rushing into SRS.) Your transition is in your head.
Now, having said that, HRT will feminize your body, I have loved the changes to the lower half of my body these days. Plus I continue to love my hair. But! If I had to go back to wigs, I would and fall back on the padding I used to wear-to be alive.
So Connie, please take care of yourself and yes knowing for sure HRT won't be an option could indeed be better. My example comes from the old Vietnam War draft lottery days. If your number came up in the middle, you didn't really know what to expect. My number was like 27, so I was gone-in the military. I knew what was going to happen.
The world should never be able to take away from us our gender. Passing privilege comes and goes, as does life itself. As transgender women and men, we have been tossed a different deck of cards to play with. The secret (especially as we age) is to keep playing!