Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Seems Kind of Cruel

I knew it was coming, as sure Fall is in the air around here on the Ohio River-yesterday my endocrinologist said "Get off the estrogen Cyrtsi." It's quite possible he said that it is a major contributor to what is ailing me.

I was semi proud of myself and kept my composure long enough to ask him was he sure and was it a permanent move. He was nice enough to say we are going to try it for three months and see what happens. I am pretty sure he knew not to try to B.S a Bullshitter and we both knew HRT was always going to be a risk at my age anyhow. So, I seriously doubt anymore estrogen will be in my future.

Enter Liz at this point: I was sad to the point of tears (damn hormones!) But, she pointed out if I really wanted to give all the credit for my MtF gender transition to drugs-maybe I was really shortchanging myself. As you may or may not remember, we have been together from day #1 about four years ago when I started HRT.

So, here I sit, rightly or wrongly beginning to rebuild again upon a couple facets of my life I enjoyed. Seems sort of cruel that I used to enjoy a fine Cincinnati craft beer and I used to enjoy the effects of estrogen on my body-and the Doc's took them both away. Then again, I will enjoy a good cup of coffee even more now and savor the healing effects my body will be now going through. Which in fact I already am.

Somehow I was allowed to burn my fuse at both ends for as long as I could. Now it's time to "trans up" and face the future. Not to worry!

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A Life in Gender Flux