Friday, December 25, 2015

Clean Up on Aisle 5!!!!!

Yesterday, when all the Christmas dinner shopping was tossed  on my lap, I was reminded of how it is to live in a land of plenty (bordered by the second highest child poverty rate on one side of us (Liz's house) and a rural drug epidemic only a few miles to the east. 

I didn't have much time to ponder the situation yesterday as I had been trusted to prepare and pick up the shopping list...Wow! Power! Fear!

We live off a really busy shopping street so I got an early start and made it to a store where we had a coupon for a very good ham. I was still very much buzzed from my successful name change and felt really good until I stepped up to pay and the cashier said "can I have your phone number sir?" GRRRR- I ignored her. Finally she said "Can I have your phone number?" I just said "What did you call me???" I don't think the little bitch did anything but smirk and there were 20 some people in line behind me, so I paid and when on my way. It turned out, I had bigger fish to fry-disguised as women in upscale Cadillac or BMW SUV's trying to jam them in small spaces. I was lucky, I found a spot six miles (it seemed) from the store.

From there, all bets were off. I was not to be trusted with my steel trap but slightly rusted mind and was given a partial shopping list to build from. The store was so big and so busy, if they were out of something (like eggs), all I had to do was seek out something else I was looking for and come back. The eggs would magically reappear. Wow!

Inside the store, the gender minority (men) took over the insanity and ran with it - really ran with it. Guys with carts determined to cut a half hour shopping trip into 15 minutes. Dangerous and made even more so when the inevitable interaction with an old folk or two occurred. 

Amazingly enough, I made it and for of those of you who want to know -or care if I got called "sir" anymore - no I didn't. The crazy peeps in the store wouldn't haven't cared if I was a Martian, just get the hell out of the way.

I did get out and escaped the pre Christmas shopping fun that cis women have had fun with for years. Gee-I guess like changing diapers, I am now a step closer to reaching some sort of stereotypical transgender nirvana. Wow!

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