Saturday, April 23, 2016

Transition V

This week we are writing a series of posts here in Cyrsti's Condo on what I call the steps to completing a transition. We finished the Level Five post with the power of aura, confidence and presentation.

Loosely defined, aura is the sense of self which radiates from a person. I always believed my aura was feminine in nature because of the times in my past when I was completely engrossed in trying to be male and someone would nonchalantly come along and call me "mam".

Where times really got rough though was when I began to sync up my total person and gain the confidence to present my real feminine self to the world. At times it was a brutal experience because let's face it, I fall into the category of most male bodies, with big bones and a thick torso. For the longest time my life was brutal if I tried to go out, often being laughed at behind my back, if I was lucky. If I wasn't so lucky I had strangers wanting to take pictures of me and being just totally rude. "Whiplash" was what I called it when a person (mainly women) would flip their heads around so fast to stare I thought they were going to hurt themselves.

Through it all though, somehow a little voice inside me kept whispering to stay the feminine course. It all would be worth it in the end, as it was. Ironically, so many think my life is better because of how I present and it isn't. My life is better because of the confidence my circle of friends has given me and now the world see's my aura matched up with an exterior which does match. I compare it to running through hot coals in six inch heels. 

Once I made it to the other side though, I found it was time to begin to tie up loose ends of my old life and start a new one I never thought possible.








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A Life in Gender Flux