Friday, June 3, 2016

If I Had to Do It Again

Yet another round of Doctor's visits today at the VA, this time with my endocrinologist (all fluids checked out OK) But today the visit was different in that I had two residents in the room, eager for a training look at a true transgender woman.

So for a half hour or so, I was subjected to medical questions plus the usual breast exam by the Doc who always points out the difference between my hormone induced girls and a cis girls.

As I was leaving, I couldn't help but notice each of the training docs were at the least my size and attractive. On my way down in the elevator, I couldn't help but remember what Jazz Jennings Mother had detailed if Jazz had not had hormone blockers. How would I have turned out?

First of all, it is such a mute point, it is almost fun to think about. How about, turning Connie loose on this one: "If life Gives you Lemons, you make Lemonade." Go ahead and substitute balls at your leisure.

Second of all, the blockers are expensive to the tune of one thousand dollars a month.

Finally, I don't see all my time as a guy as a waste, specifically when I consider my daughter and grand kids- by far my most precious possessions.

On the other hand, just the idea of having a body as intensely feminine as the two residents today was intoxicating.

Of course I will never know, and most of the time think I am playing with house money at the age of 66.

But I will take it. I just heard yesterday, a younger person I had worked closely with years ago suddenly passed away.

So, just reshuffle the deck and call me a survivor, and that works too.

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A Life in Gender Flux