No, we all should know there is no debate. Put very simply sex is between the legs and gender is between the ears.
This post is part of a conversation Connie and I had concerning having a "brand new shiny vagina" at her age and what would she do with it? I gave her a partial pro/con answer using a woman in one of my support groups who is actually older than me who is going through (or has just) had SRS.
She considers it a life long culmination to a transgender struggle. Now and only now she can proudly claim "woman" hear me roar. (Sorry Helen Reddy.) In the same breath though she was telling me how her sister would kick her out of the house after SRS.
Of course only each of us can answer the separation of sex and gender we all experience and how far we are willing to go to achieve it.
For example, I live with a woman who would have no problems with me having a vagina because she has always seen me between the ears as a transgender woman. On the other hand, my deceased wife never would have.
Should the trans woman going through SRS only to join many of her transgender sisters on the street, do it and why?
And, where does sex enter back into it either way? Unless you had a hell of a sex drive as a man, estrogen/spiro does a pretty effective job of chemical castration. Plus as a woman, I can't see myself settling down any time soon with an elderly gentleman in the suburbs. Imagine being brought home to meet the the family on Thanksgiving? Either way, my idea of wild passionate sex is somewhere -lost in my dashboard lights (Sorry Meatloaf.)
Like almost everything else a trans person goes through in life, sex versus gender hassle is yet another which seemingly never goes away.
Now, if at least we could get a majority of the public to understand we are not just gay or playing dress up.
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