Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Reality?

From Connie:

Reality shows.....Mostly show, not much reality. I've given up watching them, and even my curiosity toward this one is not enough to cause me to bother looking for a stream. The only reality I can vouch for is my own, but it still leads me to believe that whatever causes one to have an identity inconsistent with their "assigned" gender is a lifetime condition. I am not completely satisfied with the term, "transition", anyway, but I definitely don't believe that it can be used in the past tense - nobody really finishes a gender transition. I have been considering using the word, "transposition", instead, for my own situation.

 I think that it more accurately describes my own gender process, as its definition can be a reordering or realigning that causes change; not only the change itself. Besides, my fondness of making plays on words leads me to coin a new one: "Trans-position". That is, the relative place one might find herself on the sliding gender scale. I know that I have been sliding on that binary scale my whole life, slowly moving past the center-point toward female enough that I could never slip back so far as to be on the male side again. I know this because I have reached an awareness of self without external influence, and I have accepted the fact that I am who I am based on where I am now, as well as have been in the past.

 I'm confident, as well, that where I'll be in the future will be determined by who I am at the time - not as a result of any chemical or surgical influence. I haven't entirely ruled those influences out (health reasons are impediments at this time), but any decision I may make toward them will always be so much more with consideration to who I am than what I think I need. "What I think I need" is the core of the trouble ahead of which you speak. My word play will call that "Trans-supposition".

I guess my "transposition" came during the years I decided to not be a cross dresser-but a woman. I had to see if it was possible at all and did I want to do the Mtf transition. It's tough to follow because  so many people get caught up in the semantics.  Take the show for example, not once did they allude to the fact the dictated weight loss had any think to do with appearance instead of a healthy major surgery. Which, I thought was good. 

Plus, as you said in essence, gender is more of a slippery slope than any of us imagined. I too, have no desire to go back to my male side-no matter how much easier life would be.  (Perceived)

I was lucky. I had friends who could see the real me and kick me down the slippery slope, off the cliff and catch me at the bottom.

Finally, I like the comment "No one ever really finishes a gender transition." 

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