Monday, February 6, 2017

How Exhausting Is It? Part II

I'm always happy when Connie writes part of my blog for me, which makes it less exhausting!

"Your title reminds me of the in-unison question Johnny Carson's audience would ask to help him set up a series of one-liners. Being a transgender woman is so exhausting..."How exhausting is it?"...It's so exhausting that, by the time I've gotten ready to go out, I'm ready to go back to bed...It's so exhausting that I can hardly climb high enough to get into my heels...It's so exhausting that my neck is worn out from constantly looking over my shoulder...

One of the demarcation points leading to my own transition was when I realized it was more exhausting to put up a male facade than it was to be myself - the woman. The days of closeted cross dressing were all about the "transformation", relishing each step: the makeup, the wig, the undergarments, and the clothing. There wasn't much to do when all of that was completed but to admire myself in the mirror, so I exhausted nothing but time.

 Later, going out as my transformed self was exhilarating, but more exhausting than I would be realizing in the moment. Although I still can spend too much time getting ready some mornings, it has now become so routine that the thrill of it is, for the most part, gone. The one thing I would say is exhausting, if not just plain tedious, is shaving my face. A very close shave, one that will last the whole day, cannot be rushed. 

Now that I have to take blood thinners, I must be that much more careful, as any little nick may take an hour or more for the bleeding to stop. I can only marvel at my wife, who can roll out of bed at 6:40 AM, shower, get herself ready, and be at the bus stop at 7:00 AM. I spend that much time just for the shower and shave! Speaking of my wife, my transition can be as exhausting for her as it is for me. 

So, how exhausting is it? Who cares?!?! As long as one is tired FROM living her life to the limits, rather than tired OF living, it's a sign of time and energy well spent."

There is only one thing I want to know...who is Johnny Carson? :)

Seriously, well written!


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A Life in Gender Flux