Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Don't Get Your Panties in a Bunch!

As I wrote about earlier this week, I went to my second cross dresser/transgender meeting this month. Unfortunately it was less well attended than the last one and the "snarky" cross dresser's wife wasn't there (either was he) as I suspected they wouldn't be.  In their place came a very smug real live 45 supporter post opt, another very new cross dresser to the scene and even another transgender veteran.

As the evening unfolded, the conversation degraded into a couple of the participants going into detail on how they had had to "beat down" detractors in the past. Look, I know most of us have had our share of transphobic slurs over the years, but going into gleeful details of physical responses isn't my idea of any kind of femininity. Especially in front of a new cross dresser who isn't "used" to the culture seen for the first time. It was almost as bad as when I went to my first transvestite mixer back in the day and some of the "girls" couldn't put their cowboy hats and big cigars away. And this was way before "Urban Cowboy". See Debra Winger!  Who could really rock the hat.

One was the Navy trans vet who I had seen at a clinic before and wondered why she seemingly put so little into her appearance, walk, etc. I used her as a motivation to keep trying harder to make the most that I can from my appearance. And, I can't be too cocky because for years I have been able to surround myself with other women who treat me as an equal. Which keeps the public in check for the most part.

So, for the second straight meeting, I sort of kept my feelings to myself and simply said my overwhelming public response to being transgender and even my early days as a cross dresser was positive. Or, I chose it to be. Sure I got the snickers (not the candy bar) on occasion, but I simply kept moving.

Plus I will admit to the rest room incidents I encountered along the way which still give me PTSD when I have to pee. None of which have soured me or deterred me from loving the life I am leading now.

It just saddens me to see others- be them cross dressers or transgender women be so negative and aggressive. Maybe those on HRT need a little higher dosage of Estrogen?


  1. Cowboy hats and cigars? Puleeeeze. That's not even "Urbane Cowboy" for a cross dresser.

    Most of the negative things that have happened to me, as I look back on them, are just plain humorous to me now. The negativity was usually of my own making, really. My main outlet for relating these incidents from my past has been my song parodies, and I try to make them both autobiographical and pertinent to the whole universe that exists under the transgender umbrella. The best ones are also relatable to the general public, and I've found them to be a very good tool for outreach. Still, there are those who find them offensive; not funny, at the very least. There are always those who will choose to dwell in their own negativity, so I just right them off and stay away from them. I agree that it can be damaging to a trans person just feeling her or his way in expressing themselves when they are subjected to the negativity of a "journeyman" trans person. Learning that something as serious as this is too much so as to be taken so seriously is the best way to get through it all, in my opinion.

    1. Sorry about that last sentence - very awkward. "Too serious to be taken too seriously" is, essentially, what I meant to say. I even have to laugh at my writing sometimes. :-)


A Life in Gender Flux