Thursday, September 7, 2017

The "Good old Days"???

This is another of the Cyrsti's Condo archive posts I am presenting. This one comes from the summer of 2010 and represents a little of the tough times I went through during my LGBT transgender transition:

"The "scene" was another sports bar I frequented a year or so ago. It was the only place that I have ever been discriminated against.

Most of the abuse started when a group of younger redneck guys read me.  I put up with the cheap shots and comments because I do not let people like that run my life.
However, when "Dude looks like a lady" was played on the juke box 3 times in a row, it was time to go.  The wimpy manager wouldn't intercede (I was a regular) but that was his call.
The final blow happened a week or so later on a Saturday night.

Everyone once in a while, I will draw the attention of a GG who is positively entranced with the image I portray.
It has more to do with what I do than how I look doing it.  Between her and three other very curious "20 somethings" that night, I attracted a very serious "posse".
I loved it! All was good until I had to make a trip to the Ladies' Room. (An urgent trip!)
There were some other occupants doing what girls do.

One older bitter looking woman hit me full blast with "How's it going Dude."
I'm normally pretty quick with a come back, but this was different.  I wasn't a rookie in the bathroom wars. I've had to stand in line to wait with the girls and shared tp and fashion tips.
On this occasion I just smiled sweetly and said "I need to get back with my friends" (I think she was jealous)

On my next visit the same manager said he was having "comments" about which bathroom I was using.  So I left...gave him my frequent user discount card and left for a year.
I simply returned to the two other places I went to in the area (one for 12 years).
I finally did return last night. Just to see if I could. I knew the manager was long gone but the regular bartender was still there.(we never had a problem).

I watched the end of the ball game. Listened to some good music (one of the reasons I went there) drank two and left.
Problems? No, and I think I saw my old nemesis.  She did not give me a second look.  (A year of practice!)

By the way...on the way out I did have to use the ladies' room."

Also, I was asked to never use the Ladies room there again once and never went back...until I was asked to at a later date by a couple bartenders I saw at another venue. It seems the manager that "banned" me was fired for theft and I was welcome again.

Bad transgender karma for him I guess!

1 comment:

  1. I think just about all of us have had to endure the "Dude Looks Like a Lady" on the jukebox, along with the snickering from the small-minded little boys who think they are so clever to have thought of such a funny thing to do. I occasionally go to a karaoke night at a nearby place, cuz I love to sing, but gigs with a live band are sometimes few and far between. I get requests from others to sing with them on the stage most every time I go, and I'm usually happy to help people who may need a little encouragement. One night, though, a guy tried to kind of gaslight me. I walked directly off the stage when I recognized the intro to "Lola". The worst part of it, to me, was not that he had set it up, but that he had set it up with the karaoke hostess ahead of time. I had thought her to be a friend, and, even though I believed her when she said later that the connection never occurred to her, I couldn't really understand how it didn't.

    Another of the hard lessons we learn in transitioning is that, although there will always be the insensitive jerks in this world, we can't always assume that our friends and allies are as sensitive to our situation as we are, ourselves. It's best to grow a thicker skin even before we might grow bigger breasts, then.

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A Life in Gender Flux