Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Better Late Than Never...A Transgender Life

this comment comes from Connie, and reveals her struggles transitioning into her trans life today:

"Yes, opportunity is maybe the thing that makes transitioning a possibility. For those of us who are transitioning now in our 60's, there was very little in the way of opportunity when we first struggled with our gender identities. If I had an oldest known picture of myself, it would be from a Polaroid camera, and I think still in black and white, as the color cameras had not been invented yet (getting a roll of film developed through the local drug store was NOT an option, for fear of outing myself). It never occurred to me to take my own pic as a child, though, because I was always very careful not to leave any evidence of my cross dressing "opportunities." Those are not the opportunities we're talking about, however. The opportunities we need to consider are, more precisely, found in the available options. There were few, if any, available to us 50 -60 years ago.

I've never subscribed to the saying: "a woman trapped in a man's body." The trap, for me, had always been the lack of available options - no exit door from my closet, so to speak. So, I must say that it was much harder to live with that than the transition process has been. I had become more than entrenched; I had dug a very deep hole for myself.

I would not recommend waiting for nature to reduce testosterone levels. I don't know if my "softer features" are the result of that, or just that I have a fat face. :-) I only know that I would have been better off had I had much less of it (testosterone) in the first place. I'd be much better off without much of the fat now, but I'm hoping to become the white Queen Latifa these days, anyway. ;-)

I remember when my own kids paid me almost no attention, but that had nothing to do with my gender identity back then. :-)" 

I remember the embarrassment of outing myself unknowingly to a guy I knew at a drugstore once when I took a chance and had a roll of film developed! Plus, like you, I too have never accepted the "trapped woman" theory of why I was a cross dresser or later, transgender.

Thanks (as always) for the input, Connie. 

2 comments:

  1. It should be noted that this was in response to your "Transitioning in Later Life" post of a couple days ago. Just for the sake of reference, anyway.

    I did have a roll of film developed at Costco once, where I figured I would not have to deal with anyone who had seen the pics. I didn't like any of the pics, though, so threw them all away. I've never been happy with any selfie I've ever taken, and not having a whole gallery of pictures may take me away from the norm for a transgender person. I still have some VHS recordings of myself, which I made mostly to check out my mannerisms and walk. The last time I looked at some of them I got a good laugh at myself. No matter how good or bad I might have looked standing still, the video is very telling.

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