Thursday, October 12, 2017

Going All the Way

Could not resist passing along this comment from Connie, even though it included a reference to a rare football loss by my The Ohio State Buckeyes. Oklahoma played us tough and won and we have a tough schedule the rest of the way, headlined by Penn State. Until Connie mentioned it, I wasn't aware anyone played "big boy" foot ball in the Pacific Northwest :).

"I have to wonder, in your Crossport group, if there are any who could...go...all...the...way!

Sorry. It's the middle of college football season, and we happen to have, here in Washington, two of the thirteen teams that are thus far undefeated. Sorry for your loss. ;-)

Really, though, based on your own experience, do you think you might be able to predict the future of a trans woman by getting to know her? I have known some who seemed to have jumped right out of the closet and into a full-blown transition. Then, there are others (more like myself) who had procrastinated for years before realizing that they were really transitioning all along, albeit very slowly. Knowing what I do now, I could have given myself some good advice years ago. That advice would probably be somewhere between diving straight in and dragging heels (pun, if you want it to be). I also wonder how much influence we might have toward someone else's decisions. 

I haven't attended a trans support group meeting for years. I came to the conclusion long ago that I can only offer my own experience as support, and there has been little support I can get for myself. I think that those with whom I may better relate are living their lives more as I do, so they don't attend those meetings, either. Cross dressers may admire me for my presentation, but I have actually experienced admonishment from the non-binary group for being too feminine. I find little value in participating in an often-patronizing mutual admiration society, nor do I relate to the often-confused gender fluid trans people. 

I think that I can read fairly well when a cross dresser is not interested in transitioning, even if they may have a fantasy of doing so. I know a couple who have gone into a transition by chasing the fantasy, only to find that they end up to be still a cross dresser - but with real boobs. One of those, I could have predicted as much, but I dared not give cautionary advice. 

I have felt for a long time that I have taken on a responsibility for others by being in my own transition, as we all should realize that it is not just ourselves, but everyone with whom we interact who transitions along with us. I can try to change hearts and minds better, then, through being a good example, I think.

Back to the football analogy: I might just be punting on this. :-) "

Yes, for sure I have met several cross dressers whom I thought were "naturals" for the change but for whatever reason never went through the process. Then there were the others who did it seemingly for the "thrill" and lived happily never-after.  I always speculated they weren't really transgender down deep and should have stayed in cross dresser mode. Which would have been fine since they seemed happier.



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