Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Transgender Thanksgiving Mail

Received a couple interesting comments to pass along:
  1. Thickness can be a problem above the neck, too. :-)

    The job I got with UPS has me burning more calories than I am taking in. 100 yards is a cakewalk for me these days! Plus, Seattle is very hilly, so I'm up and down lots of stairs. I don't, however, get lots of stares. ;-) I am a driver's helper, which is a grunt job, doing everything but drive the truck - all in an ugly brown uniform. I was assigned to work with a woman driver who is the same height as me (5'9"), and I think we may weigh about the same, as well. This is a far different way of blending in than I had ever considered before! It's OK though, as yesterday I got to be all prettied-up with a group of ladies at a baby shower for my daughter, and I blended right in there, too. I'm so excited, by the way, that I will have a granddaughter soon who will never know me as "Grandpa" first, as it has been for my other four grandchildren.

    Lots and lots to be thankful for!!!!!
  2. Here in the UK we don't do thanksgiving, after all it was for getting away from us that you are being thankful! But I often remind myself how much I have to be thankful for, I live in a modern western liberal democracy, which recognizes my right to exist, offers me the protection of the law, and provides a society that not only accepts, but embraces me.

    After TDOR this week this means a lot!"
  3. Thanks to both of you!  Congratulations Connie :)
  4. Of course this week I am also grateful for my super accepting friends, family and medical professionals!
  5. More tomorrow!

Monday, November 20, 2017

Transgender Thanksgiving Week

Here in the United States at least, we are heading into the official week of Thanksgiving. Liz and I braved the hustle and bustle of our mega grocery store yesterday to do her "Turkey Day" shopping. Per norm, there and at a Walmart we went to, no one paid me any attention. This time of year, people are too wrapped up in themselves anyway to notice the occasional transgender woman.

Plus, as I found out from Paula, my height may not be much of a factor anyhow:
"Paula GoodwinNovember 20, 2017 at 5:08 AM
I used to "go out" with a girl who admitted to being five foot twelve inches tall. Of the three of us who (occasionally) work for my business at 5 10 I am the shortest and both the others are Cis women!"
Thanks Paula (follow her link to her blog) I like the five foot twelve inches!
My problem too, is my thickness. There is nothing I can do about being "big boned" but I walk the distance of a football field (100 yards) at least everyday and I am starting to watch my diet again...so I don't have to watch my mid section instead. I have the opposite problem of most cis-women in that I want the weight to go to my hips. Which it doesn't so much.
Through out the week, I will try to post what I am most thankful for. Today, I would like to thank all of you for stopping into Cyrsti's Condo as much as you do. There is no way I would have ever thought my humble efforts would go this far!
Much more to come :)

Sunday, November 19, 2017

A Great Time to be Transgender?

With "TDOR" upon us (Transgender Day of Remembrance), it's easy to overlook the recent strides the LGBT trans community has made at the polls.

While indeed, it's a dramatic start, TDOR is a sobering reminder of the violence directed at the transgender community. At one of my support meetings, someone called last year's ceremony in the Greater Cincinnati area "dark."

Doesn't it have to be? I suppose too, some would argue the world as a whole is much more violence and we are just a sub portion. I don't buy that because as long as hate crimes are directed at the trans community, we are no different than other minorities. And deserve the same protections, rather than trying to take them away as we are seeing under the current administration.

The bottom line for all of us to remember on TDOR is none of us are safe from the violence. Especially those who have a difficult time "passing" naturally.

So, let TDOR be a reminder to be careful out there.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Twin Towers

It is not often I see a cis woman with a clear height advantage over me, but I did this morning during one of Liz's classes I went to.

Of course, the first things I look for are any signs the woman may be of the transgender variety, and I am convinced she wasn't.

I am about five foot ten inches tall, so it's not like I am a seven footer and I suspected this woman was "six-two" or slightly more. She was flat out gorgeous and I did my best to get in line behind her to check out her height and more. I could only hope that someday my hips would fill out like hers and fill out a nice set of stretch jeans. (A girl can dream!)

One nice thing about her being close to me was she took all of any possible attention from me!

***As you may have noticed, I am trying out new blog platforms, so I'm trying to keep posts short until I figure out all the bells and whistles...if there are any!


Friday, November 17, 2017

Wow!

It is not often I can find nothing to write about, even to the point of dredging up one of my 5200 plus old posts. I can often get ideas from other blogs or your comments. Today for some reason, not so much.

I have already written about looking ahead to the holidays and the fact I have another fun filled VA Hospital/Doctor's visit next week. Liz is off all next week and maybe she will take a break from her cleaning/cooking Thanksgiving ritual to go with me. :)

I am thinking about procrastinating a bit longer about putting my ancient old dog down. She (of course) is not getting any better, is blind and has a hard time moving at the age of 18. The whole prospect saddens me so much though, it is hard to do the right thing.

I wish I could write a cheery post about shaved legs and hose, but this blog has always been from the "heart" no pun intended, so I just can't. Plus I don't want to be "Debbie Downer" (I think I went to school with her.) So, I will say the sun is out, I have had my Cheerios and life is good.

There is no way, so many years ago when I started this journey, I would have thought I would end up here. I always thought I could put on my hose and heels and prance in front of a mirror and all would be well. It was for a day or a year until I started to go out in the world cross dressed and found I felt so natural I could not live without being a woman. It was about that time transgender began to be popularized and I began to consider the unthinkable...was I trans?

The rest, as they say was history and here I sit with hair down my back, my own breasts and hips starting to form. Exciting? You bet 'ya' but nothing to write home about everyday.

I guess I did have something to write about.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Back Again!

After a day of rest following my brisk day of activity, this old girl has rested and relaxed. Being retired, it was the perfect day to do so around here with the gray, raining cold weather we experienced all day yesterday.

It also provided me some time to think ahead to where Liz and I are headed soon and what I have to wear.

Interestingly, wardrobe has passed restrooms as the first thing I normally think about when I mentally plan my day. Of course blending is a major importance. This time of year too, I normally have a choice of leggings and/or jeans to wear and plenty of soft sweaters. Plus I still am planning a shopping trip centered around a generous gift card my daughter gave me for my birthday!

Plus, with the holidays upon us, it is time to plan ahead what I am going to wear for Liz and I's annual New Years Eve celebration at our usual Ohio Riverfront venue in downtown Cincinnati. New Years is always an extra special night for me because it marks the anniversary of when I took my first dosage of estrogen (HRT) and started this phase of my transgender woman journey in earnest. It was five years ago,not subtracting the six months I had to stop the process due to health reasons.

During the season too, there are extra LGBT events, planned plus my grand kids high school orchestra concerts to attend.

So, the season will be picking up for me soon with hopefully more great trans experiences to share with all of you here in Cyrsti's Condo! 


Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Riding the Storm

Yesterday was one of those long days. I seemingly had something going on every hour on the hour.

First of all I had to make the hour trip to the Dayton/Springfield, Ohio area to take care of two VA appointments and do some much needed lawn work on my property.

I have a tendency to want to dress up a little bit more to go to my VA doctor appointments but simply couldn't with the work I had to do, so I had to let my makeup, hair etc carry the day.

It probably doesn't matter much except with my therapist who will mention my appearance, except to me of course and the confidence looking my best gives me.

Yesterday, outside of accomplishing what I wanted to do at the property, my stop at the VA hospital's coffee shop proved to be the most interesting. It seems, I have reached rock star status with the two women who run the shop on a regular basis. They always know my name and ask where have I been? Not wanting to be a total smart arse, I don't say roaming a hospital is not my fave sort of recreation! So I just said the truth, most of my appointments are built around Mental Health. The reason being is the Veterans Administration (while providing HRT transgender help) still channels all of it through Mental Health with an assist of an endocrinologist.

Without outing myself as transgender or bi-polar, I simply told them I was crazy, which for some reason they were entertained by. I must point out, there were no other patrons in line for all of this fun and games. Most importantly though, both of them didn't miss a beat with my pronoun usage. I was subjected to a liberal dose of "she and her" through the whole duration.

After finally getting my coffee, it was off to trans vet support group meeting time.

Nothing of real note happened there except a discussion of how difficult it was for some LGBT folks around the holidays who have been rejected by their families. In our small group, one transgender woman fits that mold and normally shares Thanksgiving dinner with a local LGBT group.

With that, the day was nearly over except for a "survival of the fittest" drive home through Dayton/Cincinnati rush hour traffic.

I am glad the day is over!

Monday, November 13, 2017

YAY! UPS!

Connie sent in this comment:

  1. "Well, I dusted off my old hiking boots and laced them up this morning. Not that I was planning on hiking, mind you. It just so happens that, yesterday, I learned I will soon have a reason to wear them. So, I figured I should get used to them now.

    The boots are a requirement for the job I interviewed for yesterday. I hate the look of them, but I'm probably going to hate more the brown uniform I will be issued on Wednesday. No, I'm not joining the US Army, but I will be working for UPS - at least through the holidays. There is nothing glamorous about delivering packages, but this doesn't really bother me at all. I'm confident that my femininity will shine through!

    I have to say that the interview was nothing short of amazing. This is but the second corporation that has even granted me an interview (the other was Kroger) from my application and resume. Within the first ten minutes, the young man from HR told me that I was just the kind of person they were looking for, and that he was going to put me through to orientation next week. Really? I'm 66-years-old, partially disabled, and (in case it wasn't apparent) a trans woman. The interview continued for another half-hour, and I asked about possible promotion opportunities. He told me that he felt I was already qualified for some supervisory positions, and that he was willing to recommend me for one right away. Then, he detailed the special program UPS has for advancing women in the company. I told him that I was interested, but I would still like to "start at the bottom," if only to prove to myself that I can do the work (it's going to be a physical test, for sure). One of the male privileges I had in my youth was to play competitive sports. I learned to push myself to the limits, and to enjoy the process. It never made me feel like a real man, but it did feed my ego to know that I could overcome the odds. In fact, I must say that my whole transition has benefited from this attitude. And I know that, in the end, I will still be a woman - a stronger woman. It's not the lacing of the boots, nor is it the lace of my panties, that make me who I am. It's also great to know that somebody else saw who I was and is willing to give me the chance to show it.

    Now, this is a great place for my joke: What's the difference between UPS and SRS? With SRS, nobody complains about a lost package! :-)"
Congratulations! :) Always good to hear about employment for a transgender woman friend! (Or just a woman friend!)
What an uplifting letter as in "up-lifting" packages :).

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Such a Week!

It was quite a week for the  LGBT community. In all, eight transgender candidates were elected including trans man Phillipe Cunningham in Minneapolis. Plus, in Canada a trans woman was elected mayor of a town.

Also, Frump's ban on transgender troops was shot down in another court.

In the past though, for every step forward we take, seemingly something else comes along to push back on us.
Jenner showing off her baby? bump?

As long as we keep taking giant steps though, the push back gets weaker and weaker.

Perhaps all the news about cis women everywhere being molested has helped push us to the back of t the headlines. Something trans women know all too well.

Supposedly, even
Caitlyn Jenner has finally renounced her support for Frump (the lead molester) as I imagine almost all transgender women will!

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Getting Dressed to Shoes

Liz is a huge fan of the Marla Cilley book, Sink Reflections. One of the chapters I am going to very loosely paraphrase is called "Getting Dressed to Shoes."

In it, the author goes into some detail of how the slightest detail of being a woman can make or break your day and/or demeanor. She says it can be anything from sexy lingerie, a string of pearls all the way to your fave fragrance.

But, she insists your shoes should at the least be something you have to lace up.

I know by now you are thinking, what does all of this have to do with me? I know several transgender women who wouldn't be caught dead without their heels, all the way to those who feel dead in them. I also know closeted trans or cross dressers who don't feel dressed without the feel of silky panties under their very male work clothes.

I found it extremely interesting how this cis-woman author described all of this.

Years ago, Liz asked me what kind of woman would I become (as far as feminine upkeep goes.) As you Cyrsti's Condo regulars know, I am mainly very casual but...if I know I am going out (even for a walk) I need to add some foundation and eye makeup. Plus I have the constant reminder of my hair and breasts to reinforce some inner femininity.

Obviously, it is to each their own, I also know several cis-women who spend quite a bit of time (at least an hour) to insure their hair and makeup is ready for public consumption...as well as trans women.

Indeed transgender or cross dressing variety is the spice of life and don't forget to lace up those shoes!





Saluting All Veterans

Being a transgender veteran myself, I would be remiss in not mentioning all transgender veterans. Including current or veteran serving/or served in the Armed Forces of the United States. When you consider the percentages of trans vets, you can not think about all of those who went before us who silently took their secret to the grave.

Plus, these days we (trans people) still find ourselves fighting for our rights to even fight for our country thanks to the current administration. Seemingly, though, those efforts have been derailed in the court system.

Transgender or not, thanks for your sacrifice.

Friday, November 10, 2017

Passages

As I continue to put together a possible workshop title for the Trans Ohio Symposium this Spring, I dredge up old memories and wonder why I went down certain paths.

One major one revolved the fact I had the penchant for certain people seeing me both ways, as a man and as a cross dressed woman.

As we all know, time makes for an excellent filter. Good or bad, we have a chance to re-live and wonder about the past.

One word which keeps appearing in my past is validation and my earliest senses of being validated as a cross dressed woman came from Halloween parties. In fact, it took me years to realize when somebody complimented me it was "You look good as a woman...for a man."  Somehow I finally realized the difference between reality, pictures and the mirror.
Summer Picture

I was missing the key element of feeling comfortable in my own skin which finally led to a confidence I had never known as a transgender woman. Plus the biggest key to it all was the ability for me to grow my own hair. (Yours may be different of course.)

Passages for all of us transgender women are easy to over simplify, which I think leads to the infamous "I'm more trans than you debacle."

One way or another, the journey never seems to totally end, it just gets easier with time...most of the time.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Who Was That Woman...Part Two

We continue to receive the occasional comment concerning our Cyrsti's Condo past post, called "Who Was that Woman."

Cutting to the chase, I wrote about the brief glimpse I saw of myself in a restroom mirror. Instead of recoiling in horror, I made the quick gender judgement of "woman." (Without thinking)

One comment in particular made me feel so good, because it comes from a cis woman friend I have known for years and used to chill out with occasionally. Aimee wrote:

"I am so happy for you! I think that you could give me some lessons on female self-confidence. And I think THAT is fantastic! "

Little do you know Aimee, I got plenty of lessons from you :).

I am adding a couple more comments which seem to fit:

As Connie always has said, "Your best fashion accessory is a smile!" and as Paula Goodwin said:

I'm a little behind you on the HRT Route ~ well quite a bit actually, but the changes to how I look to others is already quite dramatic, my latest joy is having the confidence in appearance to go out without makeup."
How ironic is it we go to all this trouble to discover less is truly more in the makeup department.

More Victories

As we celebrated the political victories yesterday of Danica Roem in Virginia and Andrea Jenkins in Minneapolis, we neglected to mention four other transgender winning candidates across the country:

Tyler Titus, Erie Pa. School Board
Lisa Middleton, Palm Springs Ca. City Council
Stephe Koontz, Doraville, Ga. City Council
and
Gerri Cannon, NH. School Board

It seems some of these victories had their basis with the help and guidance of the LGBT "Victory Institute" and it's "Victory Fund."

Now comes the hard part for all of these winners, fulfilling the promises they made during the election process.

These days, a very jaded and restless populace is tired of waiting on the screwed up mess upper level politicians have made of our government to be fixed.

As you probably noted from the list, most of these winners are on the very grass root level of government. Where change needs to start!

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

The Transgender Glass Ceiling Came Crashing Down!

Last night was a big breakthrough evening for transgender women and trans men everywhere, thanks to several mid term election victories.

Details from the Washington BladeLAKE RIDGE, Va. —" Danica Roem on Tuesday soundly defeated Virginia state Del. Bob Marshall (R-Prince William County) in a race that garnered national attention.
With 100 percent of precincts in the 13th District reporting, Roem defeated Marshall by a 54-45 percent margin.

Roem, a former journalist, will become the first openly transgender person seated in any state legislature in the country once she is sworn into the Virginia House of Delegates in January.
Althea Garrison in 1992 became the first trans person elected to a state legislature in the U.S. when she won a seat in the Massachusetts House of Representatives, but she did not publicly discuss her gender identity during the campaign. Stacie Laughton in 2012 became the first openly trans person elected to a state legislature when she won a seat in the New Hampshire House of Representatives, but she later ended her bid to sit in the chamber after convictions for credit card and identity fraud became public.
Andrea Jenkins, who is a trans woman of color, on Tuesday was elected to the Minneapolis City Council."
Jenkin's (who I have had the pleasure to see speak) Is a very accomplished author, play wright and activst.  Jenkins most recently was awarded a Bush Fellowship as well as a Fellowship in the Cultural Community Leadership Institute at Intermedia Arts and was named a fellow in the Many Voices Fellowship at the Playwrights Center, according to the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund.
What a night! Follow the links for more.

Monday, November 6, 2017

Going All The Way with HRT

Cyrsti's Condo received two comments concerning my Who Was That Woman post:
  1. Excellent good for you Cyrsti!
  2. Most of the things we fear never happen!

    I'm a little behind you on the HRT Route ~ well quite a bit actually, but the changes to how I look to others is already quite dramatic, my latest joy is having the confidence in appearance to go out without makeup.
  3. Thanks to both of you ladies for your comments!
  4. I still don't think most cross dressers contemplating the move to full time transgender status fully realize what it means. 
  5. To start with, the move makes cross dressing up more than something which happens on a special occasion and takes hours. You learn fairly quickly what cis women know all along. You work with what you have and do the best you can with time and financial constraints. I'm not saying going out looking like a slob but there is a middle point of blending in with all the other women you are around.
  6. A case in point happened to me yesterday at the grocery store when I spotted a large blond woman around the deli. My "trans-dar" went off ever so slightly. She was wearing nice jeans and a bright colored top and as I was looking at her, she turned back and smiled at me. Of course, not wanting to be a bitch, I smiled back, hoping to get another look. Or at least, a honorable mention. 
  7. The point is we were dressed in the appropriate genre of clothing to blend in where we were shopping. Not glamorous but effective.
  8. There is another point to be made, which gets into the tender areas of one person claiming they are "more trans" than the other. Without being too over-simplistic, here is how it worked for me:
  9. Very early in my cross dressing experience, the clothes lost their fetishistic buzz but the urge to be a girl didn't. So for those of you who think being transgender is a forever condition...I qualify. If I would have ever been content with just cross dressing up to the max whenever I could, I would have fallen into the crossdresser category. Which there is absolutely nothing wrong with. If I was just into cross dressing, I can't begin to tell you the time, sorrow and effort I would have saved. 
  10. Plus, I can only tell you now, going all the way with HRT was the way for me personally and some will say I am still a transgender impostor because I don't desire to go any farther and subject myself to the pain of SRS.
  11. The bottom line is (of course) we are all on a gender spectrum (continuum) and when and if we find the proper point for us, we feel at home.
  12. Here is hoping we all do!




Sunday, November 5, 2017

Who Was That Woman?

Yesterday Liz, her son and I, headed out to a local chain steakhouse to meet her brother to celebrate a couple birthdays. I wore my black jeans, knee high charcoal boots and hip hugging gray leopard speckled form fitting top for the occasion. It was also cold enough for my black leather jacket.

As we were seated , no one paid me any extra attention which was good and we all ordered when her brother arrived. Lunch was good and soon enough it was time to leave. Before we did though, Liz and I had to go to the Ladies Room.

After taking care of business, as I was washing my hands, I caught a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror as I quickly rearranged  my hair. Just as quickly I realized I barely recognized the transgender woman looking back at me.

The HRT (hormone replacement therapy) regime seems to be working nicely as I approach four years continually on the program.

Pleased with myself, I stood up straight, threw my shoulders back and made the journey back to our table through a busy restaurant. No one barely paid me any attention.

Even though we were visiting a restaurant in Northern Kentucky, my fears of LGBT or transgender reprisal proved to be groundless.

It was a nice trip home!

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Uncle Gloria

I decided to pass along this film which sounds very interesting about a transgender MtF transition later in life:

"Why would a man in his 60’s decide to change into a woman? That’s the question the documentary Uncle Gloria: One Helliuva Ride tries to answer. Set in Florida the movie follows Butch from a tough guy who runs an auto salvage business to a darling who just wants to be free from all that male stuff.
Butch has been married three times and with his first wife he had two children. With his second wife Shirley he stayed married for 21 years. One day Butch said he snapped and decided to divorce Shirley and she took him for all his money and even the pre-paid cemetery plots. Disgusted with it all Butch decides to become Gloria Stein, choosing the name from a combo of Gloria Estefan and Gloria Steinem."
Follow the link above for more.






Friday, November 3, 2017

Who Called the Fire Department?

Connie responded to my post yesterday concerning when I answered the front door with no make up:

"Dressing like that is what I call "BLANDING IN." I went grocery shopping this morning, and I'm sorry to say that I felt over-dressed, wearing skinny jeans, work-out jacket, and tennis shoes. I even saw two women in pajama bottoms! I don't know if these women stay that way all day, or if they just don't care what they look like when doing errands early in the morning. Maybe they go home and spend the afternoon getting all dolled up before their husbands come back from work. Remember that awful old sexist song, "Wives and Lovers?" 

It is very rare that I ever answer the doorbell. Of course, not that many years ago, I used to actually run and hide in the bathroom whenever I heard someone at the door, fearing they may see me "dressed up" if they should go around and peep through a window. And I would be all dressed up in those days, too! There was nothing ever comfortable about cross dressing - not in the choice of clothing, and not in the prospect of a confrontation. No makeup, sweat pants and a comfy sweater may be bland, but that look is more apt to blend than is looking like you're ready to go to a cocktail party in the middle of the day. :-)"

I get dressed to "blend" more than "bland" when I go to the store, but not (as you call) "cocktail party" ready. 

Someday I will have to write a post about when a fire truck was setting outside our house when my deceased wife got home. I was in the shower trying to erase all vestiges of cross dressing when she arrived panicked. I could only guess what I would have done if I had actually saw the fire truck and tried to "undress." 

As it was, I didn't fool my wife and caught hell anyway.

She always said I would lead her to an early grave. She passed away at fifty.

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Transgender Blending In???

Yesterday, we had a very rare occurrence, someone knocked on our front door. Since I am retired and was the only one home, quickly I paused, because I was just wearing sweatpants and a long sweater top  Plus, I wasn't even wearing any makeup at all. Throwing caution to the wind, curiosity got the best of me and the decision was made to go ahead and answer the door.

I still have issues with thinking there are two of me and what if someone recognizes my old male self. Which is improbable since my appearance has changed so much and I live in a totally different town.

It turns out the woman at the door was some sort of sales person, because she said "Are you the lovely lady of the house?" I'm thinking no, not so much but stood in and listened to the rest of her pitch before telling her the house belonged to Liz.

The only thing I took from the adventure was, at least she didn't mis-pronoun me immediately, so the HRT hormones must be working. Maybe next time, I will at least be wearing a little bit of makeup.

Then I thought, the woman must be used to seeing other women dressed just like me when she knocks on their doors. I was just blending in. :)

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Another Halloween

Well, another Halloween has come and gone, and I hope yours was enjoyable.

Maybe this was the year you decided to throw caution to the wind and wear that "Wonder Woman" costume you have been fantasizing about, or just dressed feminine business casual for work. If it was the first time, maybe you discovered more about your femininity than you ever thought possible, or you found out how bad heels can feel if you wear them for extended periods of time.

If you were like me during my early cross dressing days, Halloween left me thirsting for more time dressed in public. Even to the point of considering coming up with some sort of Christmas Elf costume and looking for Santa's lap during the holidays.

Whatever the case, I ended up passing out candy during our local "Trick or Treat" time by myself until Liz got home from work. Even though we did fairly well with the number of kids who came by, I was not able to discern any cross dressing kids.

Now it's off to the barrage of Christmas movies and ad's on television and elsewhere.

Dana Beyer
In other transgender related news, we now have at least two trans women running for political office! Dana Beyer is running in Maryland for Senate, joining Danica Roem in Virginia. (House of Delegates.)

So, if you are fortunate enough to be able to lend your support this election day, don't forget our candidates!

Plus, sooner more than later one of the transgender candidates is going to break through for a victory.

Also, as you may already read, a federal court judge has temporarily blocked the Cheeto's transgender troop ban.  I am sure he is so busy circling the wagons lately,with his other huge problems,  he has barely noticed.


Featured Post

Getting Dressed to Shoes

Liz is a huge fan of the Marla Cilley book, Sink Reflections. One of the chapters I am going to very loosely paraphrase is called "Gett...