Friday, August 9, 2013

We Got Mail!

High Dollar/High Tech!
Our Cyrsti's Condo high tech mail box received a couple of well thought out and presented replies recently from Alexis Michelle. The first is a comment concerning the personal and financial cost of a transgender existence:

"Expensive is so true. My whole journey has cost me a great deal of time, torment and troubles, not to mention the financial aspects. And I totally feel that the non-calculable mental costs far outweigh any financial burdens associated with my life of transition. I went through my own personal 'hell' for many, many years as I tried to keep my thoughts and feeling buried within and still project the image of a "normal" person.

What I went through I would not wish on my worst enemy. Finally I came to a point where I felt I had two choices--first of all, start opening up to others about my turmoil. Secondly, I was so close to just ending it all more than once. Luckily I began to open up and found out those I entrusted with who I really was didn't hate me for it. And with the help of those friends, and a few other, I crossed over to the other side of the street. The monetary costs took all of my savings and the obvious and hidden costs do go on forever. Yet I don't regret my own Ownership at what Cost?"

Alexis makes a couple of very key and relevant points. Either you open up to others or risk the chance of losing your most valuable resource- yourself. In my own case when I began to come out to the friends I had left, two of them did hit the door. That was fine. I did not feel for a second they were obligated to accept me but I certainly needed to accept me!  Similar to Alexis, my new transgender reality  opened up a whole new world of friends.
Her second comment was on my Presently Unavailable post:

" Like you, my mind has always flipped from place to place, time to time and subject to subject. I think many people, whatever their orientations have a tendency to do this. Is it escapism? Perhaps. But I have survived because of my ability to get away from true reality at times. Those like you, who struggle with something so major in life as "who and what am I" are entitled to do this. Imagination and fantasy can be a marvelous thing....as long as yo can come back to the necessary task at hand when the need arises. Keep moving forward, lady!!! on Presently Unavailable."

Indeed! From the days of day dreaming of being a cheerleader when I was on the football team to the countless times I just wondered what life would be like to live for five minutes in the shoes of a woman I was watching, I was in that marvelous place until reality came back with a thud!

Thanks and please remember I'm always humbled and flattered that you all care enough to comment such as Aleis Michelle and Pat and so many others! Don't forget you can email too! Follow the links here in the blog.


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A Life in Gender Flux